• daannii@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Women are avoiding men. For all sorts of reasons that I think most of you are aware of. It’s a huge turn off to be with someone who thing you are lower than them. Who thinks you don’t deserve basic human rights.

    It’s a huge mood killer.

    Women also are feeling like they have the ability to refuse when before they didn’t.

    Women are also scared of pregnancy in a way they haven’t been since the fecking 1900s.

    Because now, you get pregnant. A doctor will let you die before they will provide medical care if that medical care has any chance of harming a fetus. Even if the fetus is dead.

    Women are dying from pregnancy. Women are no longer able to terminate an early pregnancy safely.

    Women are scared.

    *I realize not every sex encounter is a man and woman. But most of the population is hetero.

    • vga@sopuli.xyz
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      2 months ago

      It’s a huge turn off to be with someone who thing you are lower than them. Who thinks you don’t deserve basic human rights.

      While I don’t disagree with this theory, I wonder why you would think that this is a recent development.

    • Ibuthyr@feddit.org
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      2 months ago

      I don’t know… While this certainly has made a comeback in the last couple of years (thanks to rise of fucking Nazi shits all over the world), there has been a positive development.

      I actually believe it has more to do with the ever increasing “efficiency” at work and addictive media (YouTube, social media, Netflix, etc.). People just don’t have time for sex anymore, because there are quicker ways to get your dopamine fixed. This is also why people don’t go out and socialize anymore. Social media is actually very antisocial.

  • alekwithak@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    People are stretched as thin as can be and stressed beyond belief. Then during their free time they are inundated by algorithms that are made to keep them scrolling and to feel as many negative emotions as possible. Then their food is full of hormones and their food wrappers and cosmetics and toiletries are all full of phthalates and microplastics and undisclosed hormone disrupting chemicals. All in a progressively protestant society that increasingly isolates us from one another and shames us for our natural urges and feelings and bodies, all in the name of selling us unnatural solutions for these “problems.”

    It’s a mystery though.

    • mienshao@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      It’s not a mystery, it’s social media. This isn’t fucking hard folks.

      Also, this study is by a conservative think tank and is biased as hell. They’re trying to force kids to marry young to have a bunch of children for “god’s army.” These “data” showing declining sex rates gives these conservatives fuel for their crusade. This is all also closely linked to the great replacement theory. None of this information should be taken at face value.

  • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Many animals breed less in captivity. Many do not breed at all. The less people feel a sense of control over their own lives, the weaker the desire to procreate becomes. Even if people use birth control, sex drive is still ultimately a reproductive urge. If you’re a farmer in the 19th century ? You have a great deal of freedom and independence. Mid 20th century American worker? Homes are cheap. Jobs are abundant. Labor rights are strong. You have lots of options on how to earn a living. You have a clear path to getting a home and raising a family on your own terms. Present-day 20 something? You don’t just have roommates in an apartment; you’re actually sharing bedrooms. Or you’re stuck living under your parents’ roof forever, your only hope of home ownership being them passing it on to you. All the jobs available to you don’t come close to providing any kind of independent living, let alone the wages to actually buy a home, start a family, etc. You’re just going to have to run on the wage slave treadmill til you die.

    The economy has developed to squeeze ever more out of workers and consumers. We’re psychologically manipulated at every turn. Every business feels like a scam trying to pull one over on you. You can’t even sign up for a gym membership without risking getting caught in dark business practices (their infamous cancellation policies.) People feel and are trapped in a system that they have little to no control over. Politicians only listen to the wealthy. Unions provided some voice to the voiceless for some time, but those have been gutted. People feel like cornered animals. They feel as though the entire system is just on elaborate exercise in thinly veiled slavery meant to extract every last once of the work product of your entire life from you. The wealthy pay you a pittance for your labor and then take all that pittance back in usurious rents. People feel trapped.

    Lots of animals refuse to reproduce in captivity. Lots of animals reduce their birth rates under captivity. Why should humans be any different? Why should we be any different than the mice of Universe 25?

      • Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        From a top raid trainer at the time, “Knock down drag-out fight, killed 'em and looted ‘em. Finally log off at the end of the raid, and?’ WoW Players in WotLK say, ‘Tough fight. Boss is down, I’m alive. Finally get to bed at the end of the run, and?’ They all say, 'The best sex I’ve had in months.”

  • callouscomic@lemmy.zip
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    2 months ago
    1. People are more willing to be honest now.
    2. How much of that sex in the past had the same amount of consent?
        • AlpacaChariot@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Things were definitely different to today, but I think the factors you listed are not enough to explain the massive decline in that graph.

          Things like economic insecurity, cost of housing, increasing isolation / changes in living circumstances, and medication are all likely to be significant factors in my opinion.

  • downhomechunk@midwest.social
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    2 months ago

    My wife and I go through hot & cold spells. I think we have similar drives, but our timing doesn’t always match up. I’m more of a “harness the power of the morning wood” sort of fellow. She’s more of a “I want it right now but he’s still at work” sort of gal. We both talk a big game, but work, childcare and adulting conspire against us.

    • Nikls94@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      An ex once who told me that she had a rape fetish, was totally into it. I was against it but since she was longing for it so badly I told her “I‘ll do it during week 18 but I won’t tell you when” and she was excited.

      Long story short: she enjoyed it while it lasted but cried afterwards because I was too harsh.

      Years later I ran into her husband and it turned out that she has BPD.

      I am very lucky to have had a written contract back then.

      • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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        2 months ago

        I think generally you’d want to start smaller when trying any CNC stuff. But hey, a lot of kinks exist only in our minds but aren’t something people want to try, and sometimes we find out the hard way. I hope you two have each other the aftercare needed to move past that.

  • ma1w4re@lemmy.zip
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    2 months ago

    No idea. I can just say that at least for me it wasn’t voluntary. 17 through 21 tried dating some people, only one agreed and then made fun of me publically and sent me photos of fucking other dudes. Since then I got depressed really hard and gained a lot of weight and lost a lot of hair, still trying my best to recover and lose weight. I somehow missed that one girl in college that gave me signs that she likes me, and it made me even more depressed, thinking that I lost my only hope. Idk why I wrote this, sorry if you read it, just had something stuck in my throat and needed to type it out.

    • _hovi_@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Just keep working on yourself friend. Only way things don’t work out in the long run is if you stop trying

      • TheOneAndOnly@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Blues Traveler song I love has a very similar line; “There’s no such thing as a failure who keeps trying. Coasting to the bottom is the only mistake.”. I heard it at a young age, when I absolutely needed to hear it. I have done my best to teach my children and close friends this. You can do it. What “it” is may change in the effort… But if you keep trying, you will never be a failure.

    • FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 months ago

      In life there are an infinite number of connections we’ll miss, the positive is we don’t need to make nearly that many.

      The first step is to work on yourself, but you don’t need to drastically change who you are just learn to love yourself as you are.

      Once you can manage that, it’s a lot easier to find connections.

      • ma1w4re@lemmy.zip
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        2 months ago

        Jee, I nearly choked on my ramen when I read your name 😂😂. Yea, totally agree, thank you

  • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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    2 months ago

    I have a really high sex drive and I’ve never been in a relationship where I consistently got it often enough to be satisfied so I stopped trying. It also doesn’t help that my living situation is not conducive to bringing people home with me.

    • Ibaudia@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I’ve also never been in a relationship that totally satisfied my sex drive, so I feel this a lot. My fiance used to be very sexual like me, but then she went on antidepressants and that was kinda killed. Now, she’s off then again, but her sex drive never rebounded, even though she thinks I’m more attractive now that I’ve been working out and gained muscle. Just sad to be jerking off in the office or bathroom every day instead of being intimate with someone you love because they don’t want to have sex with you 🫤

      I don’t blame her or anything, it just hurts my soul a bit. Her sex drive is so low now that I feel guilty and anxious even asking, because I know she’ll either reject it outright or just tolerate it if she really wants to make me happy that day, which kills it for me.

      I’d say we only really have sex where we’re both equally enjoying it maybe once every few weeks to once a month. If her drive were the same as mine, that would be once or twice a day. Just a shitty situation for me.

      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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        2 months ago

        I don’t blame her or anything, it just hurts my soul a bit. Her sex drive is so low now that I feel guilty and anxious even asking, because I know she’ll either reject it outright or just tolerate it if she really wants to make me happy that day, which kills it for me.

        Yeah, I’m single now and intend to stay that way but I don’t blame my exes or hold it against women as a whole. It’s just a fact of life. It has bothered me enough to end relationships over it but it was just about the incompatibility not any malice towards them. I’d much rather just hang out as friends and not have that “is she going to be in the mood or not?” question running in my head the whole time or feeling shitty if I make a move and get shot down, or worry that they’re feeling like I’m trying to pressure them into something. It just creates a bad situation and stresses me out because it’s not like I can just turn it off. I’ve tried jacking off but my shit recovers too fast when I’m around a woman that I like for that to help.

  • cley_faye@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I’d say a larger part of the population being aware that they can reject “unsolicited requests” is a part of it.

    Also, it requires meeting people to some extent. That sounds boring.