• GustavoM@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    If someone does not take the least amount of effort to answer a simple question like that one … then he doesn’t care about you in the slightest.

    “But its a generic question!”

    Two words: common courtesy.

    • CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      People (guys usually) also answer like this when they are trying to tell you exactly what you want to hear so that you’ll sleep with them. They feel like if they give any wrong answer early on, they’ve lost their chance. It’s a very manipulative mindset. He was like a deer in the headlights, not knowing if any answer he gave would be the right answer since he doesn’t know her at all yet. So he stalls, hoping she’ll drop it.

      Or he might just be an idiot.

      Either way, drop them and move on to somebody who will be real with you.

      • GustavoM@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        In other words, playing games, i.e trying to “tick her funne bone” so he gets someone else to play instead of himself. But what most of those guys fail to acknowledge is that “tickling her funne bone” takes time – it’s not a “free pussy pass” of any sort that you “say it”, and she goes “WHOOAAA fuck me mister! Fuck me right NOW!”. That is not “acting tough” or smart, but acting like a douche.

      • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Yeah, that was my thought as well. This is the type of person who is only going to say something of they think it will impress you. The second possibility is that they will share nothing of themselves, period. In either case, they don’t seem like good relationship material.

      • Aesthesiaphilia@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        They feel like if they give any wrong answer early on, they’ve lost their chance.

        To be fair, that’s usually correct. Women have their pick of men, generally. If a guy answers a band she doesn’t like, most likely she’ll move on.

        So guys lie and tell her everything she wants to hear. And then once they get their foot in the door, they can start telling the truth.

        This guy handled it very badly but I can see why he didn’t want to answer.

        • FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Yeah I may not be a relationship expert but if I have to lie for an ice breaker not even a deep question just an ice breaker I don’t think that relation will work

  • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    It’s kind of nice when people reveal themselves to be insufferable douchebags at the outset rather than wasting your time.

    • Rivalarrival@lemmy.today
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      1 year ago

      The last four songs I’ve listened to on YouTube are three pirate shanties and “We Know The Way” from the Moana soundtrack. I’m not answering this question either. :)

  • Eochaid@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Someone’s insecure about his Shakira collection.

    Seriously though, I’m guessing this guy either doesn’t like music at all (I’ve known a few and they act like this) or got made fun of a lot for his music tastes in high school. It’s a shame this guy is probably a walking insecurity.

    Which is a great reason to unmatch him and move on.

    • cryshlee@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I didn’t even know it was humanly possible to not like music at all. What were they like? Like their personalities? Did they seem sociopathic or were they generally “normal”?

      • chandz05@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I used to not like music at all and 15 year old me would have probably responded just like this guy. But for me it was more that I didn’t know what I liked until I heard it. Everyone around me exclusively listened to top 40 and RnB, or techno/house. I seriously thought there was something wrong with me cos I hated everything I heard. And then I heard metal for the first time, and everything changed.

      • Eochaid@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        There’s a lot of good examples in the comments, but the few Ive ran into were more indifferent thsn anything - like, they never heard anything that appealed to them. One guy I knew actively avoided music because it’d get stuck in his head and drive him nuts.

        They seemed normal otherwise, for the most part. But they knew that disliking music was weird and were a little insecute about it.

    • fabio1@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      early shakira songs in spanish are the bomb though, look up her mtv unplugged album

      • Eochaid@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Oh absolutely, no shade on Shakira at all. Just using her as an example of something a guy might be insecure about - which is of course, stupid. Don’t be insecure about liking music, folks.

    • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      Yeah this is like the people who would answer “radio” back in the day, when asked what their favourite music was ._.

    • Cannacheques@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I used to share my music taste quite openly but these days not so much. Sharing stuff just gives some people more ammo to shoot you with when they want to try hold shit over your head

      • dustyData@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        You don’t have a music taste problem, you have a social circle problem. Those people aren’t your friends. Who, other than a kid in school, would willingly spend time with someone who “holds shit over your head”?

    • Burstar@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      The whole conversation is a facepalm. This should have been 3 lines:

      “What’s the last song you saved?”

        'I am not comfortable sharing that information with you'
      

      “Okay, if you’re aren’t willing to let me get to know your basic interests clearly this isn’t the kind of relationship I’m looking for. Good luck and have a nice day” [ends transmission]

      • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Nah, it’s the overall response pattern, tease, deny reject, feed after something really bad happens.

        It’s classical abuse techniques

        • HardlightCereal@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          How is the yellow one teasing? I just see a really emotionally unavailable person with no interest in vulnerability. There’s nothing appealing or interesting, so how is it enticing interest? And what does feed mean?

          • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Because someone is showing interest in him on an app that’s designed for finding interested people. He then reciprocates that curiosity and interest in him with “I’m not gonna tell you”

            “Come on tell me”

            “Haha no”

            That’s textbook “teasing behavior”. Feeding is when the abuser flips about face and apologizes and does big grandiose corrections for previous behavior and then the cycle continues. This dude didn’t get that far but that’s pretty sensible considering they were only just talking and that technique is reserved as a way to “reel them back in”

            • HardlightCereal@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Man, I don’t understand neurotypicals. In whatever world my brain is meant to be in, opaque people are unappealing

              • scottywh@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                I don’t think there’s anything typical about that behavior outside that incel, wannabe player, pick up artist community … Or whatever the fuck they call it these days…

                • HardlightCereal@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  Oh, no, I mean being susceptible to these tactics. To my autism brain, whatever “trick” this incel is using is the equivalent of holding up a huge sign saying “I AM VERY BORING”. I don’t get how this attracts anyone.

      • orphiebaby@lemm.ee
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        8 months ago

        I’m pretty amazed that people don’t immediately hear the stereotypical doucheyness, as well as the teenager-pandering, intelligence-insulting, terrible messages the moment they hear Nickelback.

        Maybe I don’t hate Nickelback for the same “gut” reasons the internet does, but I sure do hate them.

  • Knightfall@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    You know… It’s seeing this type of stuff I’m so happy I found my wife the old fashioned way before dating apps existed.

    • ShoePaste@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      seriously. I’d be doomed to die alone if i hadn’t met my wife in college. thank god my friends decided to set us up on a blind date because we had the same birthday and they thought it was funny