I hated the recruitment texts and calls. The high school and university apparently just give your information to recruiters.
Wait, this a real thing? That’s so… American I guess.
Yep. It’s actually the whole reason we have phy ed.
Basically if you get federal funds, you have to do what the federal says.
I see, I always assumed it was either people giving their info themselves or others did to prank you. I guess it makes sense for a country who loves perpetual war.
The “country” doesn’t, the pedo class does.
Well… As the “country” screaming the loudest about democracy. It’s hard to not conflate the two. But seeing the terrible voting system over there, I guess that wouldn’t be fair.
We have to register for the draft, they have all our info then anyway when we turn 18. When I was a kid Gillette sent you a free razor and Old Spice sent you some deodorant.
Don’t many countries have compulsory service at that age anyway (with educational deferments, which we basically have as well, college tuition differences notwithstanding).
Yeah, but if you go to a good high school they send recruiters who may tell you to commission instead of only to enlist
And no they don’t take “ineligible” for an answer. I didn’t want to die for oil, but even if I did they wouldn’t let me, but they also wouldn’t leave me alone.
Can’t you just block the number? Or do they use a lot of different numbers.
It would be really funny if they did it based on grades
You mean high grade is more recruiters… right?
Why would people with job prospects join the army?
Oldest child was contacted via text by a recruiter. We told them to waste their time. Say “yes, I’ll talk to you about it if you treat ME to a meal at [local restaurant].” (emphasis mine)
The recruiter ghosted them after that.
We had an army recruiter come talk to our history class in high school (this was in the '80s). After the guy’s talk he said “any questions”?" My friend Rob said “yeah, I have a question: does napalm still stick to kids?”
Buy me dinner before you fuck me.
“so i understand you take men in your military. did you have to be born that way?” got them to stop calling me altogether back during DADT.
unfortunately I fear that gets you put on a list you dont want to be on
I told them I was a conscientious objector in 2001 and never heard from any of them ever again.
when “I am not going to join, please stop calling” doesn’t work, you have to know the actual magic words.
“Have you considered applying for ICE?”
“Sure! How big is the ICE machine? Oh, you mean that ICE?”
Can I drive a Zamboni? Or or … do I get free icees?
The bar has been low for at least 30 years. Marine recruiter wouldn’t leave me alone even after I started hitting on him.
If you’d have joined then you’d realize your mistake. They just assumed you already had the same sense of humor somehow.
It was during DADT and I wasn’t joking. Though since then I have met more gay marines than any other branch (I guess if you want to prove your manliness to the world…).
Do military recruiters actually just cold call (well, text) you like that in the US?
Yes, and of course they’re allowed to lie to children as well
The Army came to my highschool my senior year and put on an exhibition. They had Humvees and APCs and a massive wall of speakers that would make a passerby deaf at 40 yards. You were able to get out of class if you went to the event and listened to their pitch. I was one of like 4 kids who didn’t go. Parents weren’t told about this in advance, and there were recruiters there with pens waiting.
TBF, my school did have JROTC program but still… I think thats what set off my long history of being anti-that.
They even come to your highschool class during lesson time to talk with everyone about why military is awesome and you should totally join.
There was also a few month duration each year where army members would setup a table in your school cafetaria and give snacks for talking about military or taking surveys etc.
Fun fact: the United States hasn’t signed the international agreement banning child soldiers because the military allows 17-year-olds to enlist (although they don’t actually start their service until they’re 18).
Yeah, I got a call when I was sixteen or so several years ago. They strung me along for quite a while just acting like they knew me. I was trying to figure out how I knew them and finally they said they were a recruiter and I told them I wasn’t interested. I wish I told him to fuck off, but that’s not the kind of kind I was.
Yes. Before cell phones were common they called my parents land line asking for me.
Also like any ‘sales’ job metrics matter, so they’ll take a meeting with kids like this even if it doesn’t convert to a recruit in the end.
So you have a heartbeat? Please meet me outside
Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, kill them
Join the army,
see the world, meet interesting people, kill themclean toilets for 4 years.
“I mean, I wanna—I wanna kill. Kill. I wan—I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill. Kill. Kill! Kill!” And I started jumpin’ up and down yelling, “Kill! Kill!” and he started jumpin’ up and down with me and we was both jumpin’ up and down yelling, “Kill! Kill!” And the sergeant came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, and said, "You’re our boy." Didn’t feel too good about it.
Holy internal hip rotation.
I assume everyone has heard the Arlo Guthrie thanksgiving song. “I wanna kill, kill, kill, kill!” “You’re our boy.”
I actually wanted to join the military fresh out of high school but I was informed by my recruiter that they don’t take autistic people
It’s a loss to their logistics supply corps.
Same, but my out was a sleep disorder that I grew out of about 5 years prior, before I finished middle school.
I wonder what the response would be if you said something like: I’m already in the Navy.
“Fuck… I’m sorry. I’m so… so so sorry.”
Our bestest ally and only democracy in the Middle East needs wall lickers to usher in their bizarre delusions.
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