Link to the recipe, it’s vegan 
Join our public Matrix server!
https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms
As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It’s for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
spoiler
___
HELLO THIS IS THE MEGA SIGN UP POST/LIST POST
if you have a preferred week please tell me
oscardejarjayes* (12/8 - 12/14) Tommasi (12/15 - 12/21) Shaleesh* (12/22 - 12/28) SwitchyandWitchy* (12/29 - 1/4) peanutbuttercupola* (1/5 - 1/11) Wmill* (1/12 - 1/18) Alisu* (1/19 - 1/25) Disaster_of_Passion* (1/26 - 2/1) Eco* (2/2 - 2/8) GayTuckerCarlson* (2/9 - 2/15) * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters
ooh, my time is so close
Struggling super hard with the last screen of this Celeste level, turns out I just didn’t learn a trick I was supposed to earlier. After finding out the new tec I beat it in one sitting. Still need 3 crystal hearts to unlock the core.
I just moved out and I’m already homesick. I haven’t even been here 7 hours and I already feel a sense of regret and longing to go back to my dads apartment even though it was kind of stressful and we don’t have a great relationship. I still love him and I feel so bad about taking my cat with me because he loved him. Emotions suck. Anyone have advice for dealing with moving related anxiety? Especially in the realm of homesickness and realizing you’ll never live on that space again?
It sucks in the moment but this really is one of those “time heals all” things. You’ll find your own way and the pain/anxiety will dull but I think this is something that we all go through. Try to keep busy by focusing on unpacking, diving into hobbies/friends, basically anything but sitting around and focusing on how things are different now. The nights are the hardest but you’ll get through this and soon enough it’ll feel normal. I wish there was something better I could offer but it’s just sad unfortunately, especiallyyyyyyy the feeling of leaving a home. :( Sending love!
* rubs lamp *
“hello I am the genie of the lamp, you get one wish.”“Ahem okay, I wish all wish granting entities were erased and never existed in all timelines possible no exceptions.”
“Oh uh… uh… okay… well, are you sure? Are you sure?”
“Yeah hit me with the tragic twist or whatever but Im standing by it.”
Ups and downs of being trans in Australia the last 24hrs CW some CW misgendering/discussion of dysphoria etc
I was at my local bottle-O (liquor store) last night getting some white wine for my risotto. The manager, who is a gruff gen x-er and I kind of assumed would be baseline mildly transphobic, asked me if I was okay because I wasn’t my “usual bubbly self” which is nice that it’s what this person thinks I am, the bubbly lady who always chats when I come in. I was feeling pretty flat. Equally a lady at bakery I go to regularly said it was nice to see me.
I was interacting with 2 cis women and a cis man at a social thing, I felt very included when, after the cis man declared he was going to do something his wife asked him not to and then beg forgiveness, the three of us ladies sort of side-eyed, groaned and tutted at this prospect.
Also the man is going bald, one of the ladies gave some head shaving advice she had from her bald husband. She turned looked at me and said something like “well you’ll never go bald!” and it was really funny. A lot of cis people who are trying to be inclusive basically don’t ever bring up that you’re trans, which is fine, but I do have different lived experiences and this was funny in the sort of joke a trans person would make about being trans. She followed it up by telling me my hair was “stunning” and she was envious.
Then I got my blood test to get my estrogen levels checked and I saw another friend who is a cis woman with premature menopause, so we chatted and while it didn’t come up I assume she was getting her levels checked too
Really crashing swerve into dysphoria because I’ve applied for a new job, I sent a CV in and it send I was female. The manager called me just now and was really keen to recruit me. They said something like “we need another male”, and I can only assume it was based on my voice and they hadn’t read the gender part on my CV. So I had to explain I was a “trans woman” but you know that I didn’t particularly want to work in women’s health because of the political climate and personal reasons.
I still think they’ll hire me given my experience and the demand. But it really sucked, my voice has been getting better and I didn’t anticipate that moment of awkwardness (I kind of assumed either they’d realize and be polite or get a mild surprise at the face to face). And now I’m wondering if this is a sincere mistake or if I’m going to have problems.
negativity, dysphoria, transphobia, suicide
back to bitterly hating my life
this so much. Being trans is horrible. Dysphoric. Transphobia. Either would be horrible enough of their own. FML
Its life ruining. I hate being trans. I’m so dysphoric about so many things. Body. Voice. Social. How I act. Everything is wrong.
Transphobia is obviously FUCKING AWFUL now a days. And its so insidious too. Its everywhere and everyone.
I hate it, I hate it so much, my feelings on it have not gotten better.
Its just awful. There is nothing good about this. Its just suffering. I DON’T WANT TO DO ANY OF THIS. I JUST WANT IT TO BE FUCKING OVER. FUCK
I think the only actually redeemable thing here is in the grand scheme of things, I won’t be suffering long. Things will either get better or there won’t be more things. 1-2 years or like at most 5. I can do it. I can suffer another 5. Just have to keep suffering and hoping it changes. I have to hope life can be livable at some point.
I don’t know. I don’t know what the point is. T already ruined me. Society. What is the point. I’m not going to be happy. Its gone. Ruined. I don’t want to be trans, I don’t want to be a woman, I want this whole nightmare of being trans to be over. Of dysphoria. Of everything. Even if I could pass (doubt it) that wouldn’t fix it. Nothing can fix this pain. I just want it over. I hate this. I hate everything about it.
Still on my breaking bad habit streak now I need to make some good ones, only problem seems it’s easier to let go then to grab onto something new just yet
I was wrong and I was lying to myself and everyone else. I’m sorry for wanting to be a part of your community and not fitting in. I think I need to try to accept myself as a person who deserves to exist before I can decide more about how I want that existence to look.
self harm
Tried to end my life unsuccessfully and spent over a week in the hospital. I might be okay being a guy, especially if I can just have the boundaries and restrictions to that lowered. I hate that being a man makes me a worse person. I know it’s gross or wrong or whatever but I do find tgirls really attractive, even if I’m not one.
Before you do anything rash or put labels on things, why dont you try the nice femme up stuff like a skirt and nail polish.
Learning to accept yourself and love/forgive yourself is definitely important.
Well it doesn’t really sound like you’re ok with being a guy, but that’s your call. I’m sorry you’re having such a difficult time. If in the future you change your mind, you can be one of us - if you want.
talking about how I used to look
First holy shit why would you flashbang me like that
Second of all, every now and again I feel like, oh why would you grow your hair out now you just look fuckin bad. At least before you looked kinda decent for a guy. No I looked fucking horrible back then too.
alcohol, relationship
Context: Closeted in a complex relationship. Trying to navigate that and come out soon.
My egg cracked nearly two years ago during the only time I’ve ever been nearly flat-out wasted. Now when I’m feeling dysphoric or overwhelmed I reach for alcohol to take me back to that place. Just enough to feel something. It’s not alcoholism (at least not yet), but it is unhealthy.
I come from a family where the majority suffer from some form of addiction. It makes me wonder why it’s so common in my family… and maybe if I’m not the only one.
I’m trying to find the courage to come out, knowing that for me the genie cannot go back in the bottle. Several people here have been really helpful in figuring this out. I’m so thankful for each of you 💜
spoiler
:::Wow, same here. I drank a lot during the early years of covid because I could act different and blame it on that. Also just felt nice to think less about something so all-consuming. Never really drank much before that because my family has a ton of substance problems. I read through some of your other posts and I’m so sorry that you aren’t in a place where transitioning feels easier. I got lucky with my relationship, although there’s still been issues that have come up because of transitioning. But a big part of hiding it for so long was the fear that I would lose someone that I care a lot about :/.
I eventually decided that I had to pursue it regardless because once the egg is fully cracked, you can’t just put it back together. Also, I figured that if my partner wasn’t OK with me being me, then it wasn’t going to work anyways. Really scary to confront, but necessary.
None of this has been easy but it’s absolutely been worth it and I haven’t regretted a second. I really hope you can find your peace in this situation however that manifests for you but just know that you aren’t alone in your experience or your feelings
I know I already replied once, but this really is one of the kindest, most thoughtful things anyone has said to me. I am so grateful for your thoughts 💜
I’m so happy that they had a positive impact for you :) I’m not on here a bunch, but feel free to dm me in the future for whatever reason! It’s always nice to have someone you can bounce feelings off of, irl or not <3
Thank you 🥰🥰🥰
dysphoria
That feeling when you see a pretty guy but get dysphoric because you know you don’t pass well enough for him to date you
Even if someone only digs fems, they can like more than one kind of fem people. There’s cis people, trans people, twinks, etc… Many fans of fems like fems in general. It’s possibly not true of this guy, but who knows? Do you know they only like cis-looking women, or did you assume that?
i’m really worried right now… i think i might be the angriest gamer you’ve ever heard
angrier than this guy?
i’m the only person who would rather have a buffalo
Got rejected for a job I’m massively overqualified for
Prob because I’m not used to social media but on xhs it be like “your friend” posted this and I’m like who is this again? There’s only like a handful of people I seriously talked to on that site but still if I get a follow I follow back and forget
These past mornings been feeling real emotional almost cried just now listening to wizard of earthsea, le guin is so damn good at portraying emotions like fear and doubt
if you like emotional fantasy and you haven’t already you should give robin hobb a shot
I see all the audiobooks on the app I use any you recommended for starters?
this is the beginning and is as far as i’ve actually read as i fell out of the habit not too long after. first one is Assassin’s Apprentice. there are several sequel series that follow the same characters if i’m not mistaken, or at least take place in the same world
i read them when i was quite a bit younger so my memory of them is pretty vague but i do recall being struck by how uncommonly front and center the emotions of the main character were, and how out of genre it felt (for lack of a better way to put it). anyway hope you enjoy!
vague farseer spoilers
It’s funny how Fitz could be a rather silly character, a bastard prince warrior assassin in a grim dark low fantasy setting with various cool scars and a white streak in his hair, with two ancient magical inheritances that let him be somewhat telepathic and talk to animals.
But like you say, it’s mostly about his growing maturity, emotional development, interpersonal relationships etc
