Link to the recipe, it’s vegan im-vegan

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  • catter [comrade/them, she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    0·
    4 months ago
    alcohol, relationship

    Context: Closeted in a complex relationship. Trying to navigate that and come out soon.

    My egg cracked nearly two years ago during the only time I’ve ever been nearly flat-out wasted. Now when I’m feeling dysphoric or overwhelmed I reach for alcohol to take me back to that place. Just enough to feel something. It’s not alcoholism (at least not yet), but it is unhealthy.

    I come from a family where the majority suffer from some form of addiction. It makes me wonder why it’s so common in my family… and maybe if I’m not the only one.

    I’m trying to find the courage to come out, knowing that for me the genie cannot go back in the bottle. Several people here have been really helpful in figuring this out. I’m so thankful for each of you 💜

    • bipp [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      0·
      4 months ago
      spoiler

      :::Wow, same here. I drank a lot during the early years of covid because I could act different and blame it on that. Also just felt nice to think less about something so all-consuming. Never really drank much before that because my family has a ton of substance problems. I read through some of your other posts and I’m so sorry that you aren’t in a place where transitioning feels easier. I got lucky with my relationship, although there’s still been issues that have come up because of transitioning. But a big part of hiding it for so long was the fear that I would lose someone that I care a lot about :/.

      I eventually decided that I had to pursue it regardless because once the egg is fully cracked, you can’t just put it back together. Also, I figured that if my partner wasn’t OK with me being me, then it wasn’t going to work anyways. Really scary to confront, but necessary.

      None of this has been easy but it’s absolutely been worth it and I haven’t regretted a second. I really hope you can find your peace in this situation however that manifests for you but just know that you aren’t alone in your experience or your feelings cat-trans