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All of these hard seltzer things are 5% because it’s just malt liquor, syrup and water
You drink them and you feel like you’re dying because they’re only made to fill a product shaped void in your soul instead of being an actual crafted beverage made with tastes in mind
pantera needs to alcoholize their heart attack lemonade
I would absolutely buy a sandwich from Pantera Bread.
BBQ Chicken Cowboy from Hell
Clucking Hostile
The Great Southern Trendgrill
Mouth for War
Vulgar display of flours
Unfortunately, the only flavor of Powerade that they carry is the white variety…
opening a vegan competitor called Plantera Bread
Fun fact: Alcohol slows down your blood pressure while caffeine speeds it up, so can you guess what happens when you combine them?
Your blood pressure goes up speeding up the alcohol through your blood until it hits your brain.
Also makes you drink more than uou normally would
The alcohol soda trend started in 2016, with drinks like Alcohol Root Beer and Alcohol Orange Soda.
Some of the more egregious variations that I have tasted were Alcohol Bojangles Tea and Alcohol Green Monster.
Soda is largely viewed as a beverage for children or immature people. Alcohol is a beverage for adults. In my opinion, combining the 2 ideas represents a rejection of growing up or traditional adult values.
The Hard Seltzer trend is different and started around 2019-2020 with White Claw. Hard Seltzers were part of a health trend. There’s almost no sugar in hard seltzers, it’s just water and alcohol and carbonation. A can of White Claw hard seltzer has ~100 calories.
On the popsicle website, it says that each Hard Popsicle can has 234 calories with 25 grams of sugar, that’s 100 calories of sugar. You are probably right that made Hard Popsicle is made with malt liquor.
I would say that this drink is a Hard Soda rather than a Hard Seltzer because of the amount of sugar.
On the popsicle website,
Wait this is real? What the hell happened, I feel like not that long ago this was the kind of thing advertising departments would nix for sending the wrong “brand values”.
Values changed.
Yeah, but now every sports league has an official sports betting partner so when companies say “traditional family values” they just mean they don’t support gay rights or miscegenation.
People can call me reactionary all they want, but I don’t see how shit like this is anything other than trying to sell alcohol to kids. They are also stupid expensive and it’s cheaper to just mix them yourself with cheap liquor.
pretty sure alcopop’s been around a lot longer than 2016
Alcopops aren’t really a new thing at all
Monster also made a “Nasty Beast” line of hard iced teas. No caffeine, sadly, and they kind of tasted like ass. Par for the course with Monster.
Hard seltzers are a response to the focus on “Craft” and “sense of place” from the Early 2000s Pollan/ locovore era. It’s like fuck yea drink sludge it’ll taste like candy and get u wrecked.
Nah I’m diabetic and it’s nice to have a light beer replacement that doesn’t include 300 carbs that I’m going to be drinking 12 of watching football on Saturday
Popsicle branded booze? Who wants this? Who asked for this?
I’m once again telling you that the alcohol industry is making all this branded swill explicitly to market it at children.
They lost out on a couple generations of universal alcoholism and are now in such a dire financial situation that their only option is this: trying to get middle schoolers addicted to malt liquor sodie pop bullshit.
I’m once again telling you that the alcohol industry is making all this branded swill explicitly to market it at children.
Yes, and, I’ve noticed many of my zoomer/elder alpha coworkers have “childish” tastes, for lack of a better word: they’ll just not drink anything that’s not soda-sweet and perfectly designed to hit all dopamine receptors at once.
Many of them don’t even drink alcohol or coffee because they say they hate the taste, and when I ask them what they mean by it it always comes to them not being immediately agreeable, or not sweet at all.
I think the alcohol industry is realizing that many people who are coming of age now and joining the alcohol market will simply not drink snything that’s remotely bitter or complex or bracing, so no beer, no wine, no spirits. It’s getting drunk without the experience of drinking.
Look, some of us are just trying to recapture the magic of drinking the spiked “witches’ brew” punch from a middle school Halloween party when we were 14, and the only way to do that is to mix Sour Apple Pucker with unnatural things, like Mountain Dew Zero and a preemptive dose of your myocardial arrhythmia medication. WE’RE GOIN’ FOR A BROOM RIDE TONIGHT! YEEHAW!
I love a sweet fruity cocktail, don’t get me wrong! I just noticed that some of the things I associate with drinking alcohol, coffee, tea, and so on, and most times enjoy about it, are a big turn-off for many younger people
Many of them don’t even drink alcohol or coffee because they say they hate the taste
Literally me, the only alcohol I drink semi-regularly is Seagram’s Escapes.
Though my favorite drink is unsweetened black tea so I dunno what that says about me.
You like what you like, that’s fair. It’s a pretty big generational and class difference I’ve noticed at my workplace though
We always were way to cheap for that stuff as kids.
If yall have ever seen “Happy Dad” alcohol seltzer at stores, you should know that “Happy Dad” is owned by NELK Boys, which is a pro-MAGA podcast which has hosted both Trump and Netanyahu.
I see it at every store and gas station in my area.
I had no idea… I see them everywhere and just assumed it was one of those “I wanna drink, but also hydrate” type things coming off the heels of White Claw
Everybody is 12 theory confirmed.
wouldn’t freeze very well if it were higher
I don’t know why we have the damn thing, but somewhere along the line we ended up with a Ninja Creami whiz-bang plastic ice cream gadget (made with real plastic!) that we have used maybe a dozen times in five years. At one point, I had a craving for a “dirty banana” cocktail, but in ice cream form. Even after two or three days in the freezer, the tub of banana mush, cream, and booze (I swear I showed restraint on the amounts) was still basically an alcohol slushie. It did not blend very well.
I bet Guinness chocolate ice cream would work pretty well, though…
innovationWhen vapes do half this they get ran down one side and up another
Well the 8% white claws are the worst thing ive ever tasted next to beatboxes
5% ABV isn’t that low, it’s about as much as a typical beer.
