“Sorry I left wet footprints on the floor again”
“I touched a cold pole and now I’m stuck, please bring a spatula”
“It was slimey when I found it”
“Everyones a little bit moist sometimes. Stop judging me just because I slide everywhere on a layer of goo!”
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I saw this right after I got out of the shower, please leave me alone I’m one of the good ones I promise
please don’t get any of my good posts wet
“crawling out of the ocean was a mistake”
Spoken like someone incredibly dry and ashy
“Do you have a fresh towel?”
“Why don’t you have any clean towels?”
“How am I supposed to dry off?”
smdh sick of hearing it, leave my towels alone im growing mushrooms
smdh sick of hearing it, leave my towels alone im growing mushrooms
too late i ate em
Its not my fault the heat index is 111 and my shirt is soaked through
“I’m sorry, am I not allowed to be wet in here? Where’s the rule that says I can’t be wet? Show me a law.”
“Pass the controller, bro”
Spatula? Nah you just need some warm water
“* miscellaneous wet noises*”
“Oh god I got tissue stuck to my face again don’t i”
“Just open a window it’ll dry off naturally”
“Many Urkels to you, Juice!”
“My favourite song parodist is Wet Al Yankovic”
“It’s time to spray Elon Musk with a civil rights-grade fire hose”
“Uh oh, I’ve almost dried out from April Fools Day”
edit: whilst presenting pruney fingertips “Look, I’m an old man!”
“It’s time to spray Elon Musk with a civil rights-grade fire hose”
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