2 years on HRT now babyyyyyy
Here’s some random music
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horny
horrible exhausting day at work but it broke my brain in such a way that for some reason i can’t stop thinking about how great my boobs and nipples are and all the fun things that lesbians need to do to them so i guess it’s not all bad
happy pride
ハッピー・プライド!!
It’s pretty fucked up that they make trans people pay taxes.
Like not even a joke. No healthcare, no protections, etc. should get to be exempt.
2 years on HRT
I love that for you, congratulations
Wow Manhunt is heavy, not complaining since thats why we wanted to read it in the first place but like all the descriptions of transphobia/transmisogyny cut so much deeper than the basic violence and SA we expect from this kinda book anyway (weve read worse on that front, frankly, but this one still hits harder than those did)
Its really hard to recommend, but I do genuinely like it and Im glad I read it. Theres parts I still cry about when I think about it. I lent my copy to my mom and told her that particular explicit and shocking SA part happens like once and if she wanted she could skip it and it wouldnt impact the story.
Happy pride and death to america and england
Still having trouble accepting aging. I’m in the late stage era of being considered young, so I’m really trying to use the time I have to make peace with the future ._.
Between transition shifting life milestones around and not being interested in things like starting a f*mily, I feel pretty out of sync with life.
Best I can do now is keep a good skincare routine and brace for the future. Aging will happen whether I’m ready or not. Maybe I’ll look back in a decade and think how silly my worries were.
I hate death. Freaks me the hell out.
When I turned 30 it was a bigger deal to everyone else than it was to me, and my first grey hair was a WAY bigger deal to my mom than it was to me. I like ageing, Im excited to be in my Liza Minelli Joan Rivers style era to be honest.
I want my hair to go gray so bad. It’ll make dying it easier
I envy your attitude towards aging! Hopefully I can find some joy in it too.
medical
Guys I think I’m getting gyno?? Has hrt done this to any of you?? Bit worried about the side effects.
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this is a joke sorry
medical
Yeah I hear the way to prevent it is to take progesterone rectally and eat more
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Thank you! I will try both of those as soon as possible, hope this clears up soon.
I got some straws to do those Semi-Occluded Vocal Tract excercises. Plastic, cause that’s the only kinds they had at the store :/ hoping this’ll help me keep up with voice training even when I can’t deal with hearing myself speak
Dating is too hard I can’t do it
Real and unfortunate
Didn’t you already find a girl to hook up with
Well, first week was okay. I found 1 girl I like but she’s sorta not in the mood for anything anymore. Doesn’t wanna hook up for now because of mental health stuff, or so she says. After that, only 1 person wanted to go out and I had to cancel because of my own mental health. I probably already found all the cool people in this app and there is no one interesting anymore
Damn, mental health struggles wrecking our beautiful sapphics dating opportunities 😔
Unless you’re app has like 100 single people on it max there’s probably more you can find.
Yeah there are lots of people. But now, lesbians that are my type and would date me, now that list starts shrinking. It’s been weeks since I got a match and when I get one, we don’t talk, barely talk, or even if we do, no dates, so kinda pointless.
Does anyone know a good, and hopefully not super expensive, soldering iron/station? I’m trying to make things and need to solder a lot of small things. I think I can get jlcpcb to put the maim IC on the board for not too much, but so many components require repositioning things so if I do them all it gets expensive fast. So I’ll be soldering on everything from big thru holes to the tiniest SMDs (and possibly removing or re-soldering them too)
What I want: changeable tips, ability to specify temperature, and if there’s a hot air gun included in it that would be nice but not needed.
I have no idea how to evaluate soldering irons/stations, and everyone just wants to sell you things or shovel llm slopsites into you, so I dont really trust the comparisons between the products I find. I dont need perfect, just good enough. I’ve been looking at yihua, their general stations. I can find them online for sub 100 USD (specifically the 8786, though there’s an 862BD+ on sale for sub $100 right now) and they seem solid. But I have no idea what’s what anymore with online shopping.
Its been a long time since I soldered anything, and even back then I was doing component to component and not working with boards, just tiny wires. It will be fun to start again tho, and i would love to be able to make electronics projects again.
I have a Yihua 862BD+! So far no complaints. I’ve had it for a few years now but only used it for light duty work. It gets pulled out here and there when I need it, which is usually when I do to do smd stuff or I need more precise temperature control than what my cheap little barely temperature controlled iron can do. Though I’ve also found a few other nice uses for the hot air unrelated to soldering. For example, I use it to heat up these cheap little disposable polyethylene pipette droppers so that I can stretch them out to give them an ultra fine tip. Super useful for dispensing instant CA glue for model building and stuff.
Noted! I would love one with integrated heater in the tip but those are pretty expensive. I’m debating whether I need the hot air. On the one hand, it would be useful. On the other, it would probably be fine without it? Like, I found how to get the hardest stuff soldered on by jlcpcb (namely the IC) for not too spendy… So I could probs get by with just a fine tip. But also hot air fun and then just solder paste+flux and go.
Happy Tranniversary!! My 2 year mark is in two weeks!!
Happy tranniversarry!!!
reflection on comparison
Oops it wasn’t hotness or “passability” I was jealous of, it was the self confidence to be out in public. And I know I’m working on the same thing (I was there wasn’t I!?), so even if I was a bit butch, it’s all part of the process and not worth worrying over.
I am tired of the half closeted state I’m still in, need to rip the bandaid off
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Its hard, so hard sometimes. Comparison is the thief of joy, but it can also show us things that we would like to work towards. It seems like you’ve identified that, and from there come goals, and from goals come actions that have purpose.
I’m glad you went to the event thingy, and even if it was difficult, it seems like it was a good-for-you difficult. One of my favorite phrases is ‘ah fuck, a personal growth opportunity’ because personal growth is wonderful and so worth it but goddamn does it hurt sometimes.
fear of being perceived
Also that fear of being perceived is so real. It sucks. The worst is when I hurt from perceiving myself. Dysphoria sucks.
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Thank you for this; it helps me make sense of all this much easier. You’re absolutely right, it was a personal growth opportunity and I’m glad to be taking advantage rather than wallowing in “auuuuogh everyone’s better at transition than me.” It was difficult and confusing, but I have a much clearer path. I’m even using my actual name now which is a good step in the right direction
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I’m even using my actual name now which is a good step in the right direction
Yaaayyyy!!! Thats such a big step!! It took me a while to use my name (and over a year to.come up with it). Congrats and also proudsss of ya! Its hard and you deserve to be referred to in ways that are comfy for you
auuuuogh everyone’s better at transition than me
I still fall into this sometimes… Its hard. Ive been at medical transition for over 3 years. And its gotten better. But still sometimes shows up. I guess I’m trying to.say that its an understandable thought process, even if its an unhelpful one.
Big hugs, and prouds of ya
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Thank you! For the reality check too, a little self awareness now doesn’t mean that the thought process is gone, just that I can recognize it when it shows up.
It’s truly wild how much better I feel being referred to by my new name. I coped about my old one being neutral/ a kind of chosen name but it was really just a life raft so I didn’t have to use my real deadname. going out confirmed I need a clean break and it’s really cute and exciting and I’m so happy about it lol
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Yayyy I’m glad your new name feels so good! Having a cute name is so wonderful, and the excitement just makes it cuter
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I’m even using my actual name now which is a good step in the right direction
You got your identity down so you’re getting there and making big steps! You can do it and go all the way. You got it.
Thank you friend, I appreciate it greatly. Sometimes I look at a specific tree for too long and miss the forest around it
Trees are hypnotic things. It happens to all of us
It’s a shame that it’s so hard to recognize transition for the beautiful process that it is when we’re going through it, but this is one of the reasons I love hearing these experiences and seeing the process from the outside. I remember going through exactly this. The first transfem social event I went to in person was so intimidating. I felt jealous and inadequate, and so much pressure to make a good first impression. It was such an important experience though, and when I reflected on it when I got home, I realized how wonderful it was and how much I was looking forward to the next one.
This metamorphosis isn’t just a physical one, it’s psychological probably even more so.
Psychological metamorphosis… I like that. I gotta get some more experiences under my belt but the first time was always going to be the most difficult
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Oh wow ok that makes a lot of sense. You’ve cleared my head up.
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Yeah I was confused because I assumed it was the first time explanation, but there were girls there who gave way less of a shit about passing than me, and that made me feel worse, superficial and selfish, for feeling the discomfort in the first place. This otoh makes a lot more sense internally and has stuff I can work on, so much more fulfilling than I initially felt
