I have not seen past season 1 of this show yet, but I’m loving it so far! This guy has been one of my favorites but he’s been absent for like 6 or something episodes lately 
miscellaneous plot commentary for where I'm at in the show
what the FUCK is Mollari up to this dude is bordering on ordering literal genocide??
what is Delenn transing into?? a guy maybe??? 
where the HELL is Sinclair I want him back. His replacement kinds sucks lmao
Garibaldi might be the straightest man alive and I mean that in the most derogatory way imaginable
I wish this show was gayer
I fucking love the technomages so goddamn much oh my god. They’re soooooo goofy and I need more of them. I was close to dedicating this mega to my love for that one episode where they’re introduced
Anyway this show is fun and cool and good but could be gayer and transer 
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spoiler
A few irl people have told me I can message them if I need anything or if I’m not doing well or whatever and I have only taken people up on this offer a couple of times and idrk if I will again. I don’t feel like they are actually up for dealing with me at my worst.
Which is really the time I want someone the most, but it’s so useless. When I’m feeling all hopeless and miserable and suicidal and dysphoric and hating everything I really don’t feel like there’s a consistent way to pull me out of that. Why would I even message them it’s so depressing.
No prizes for guessing how I’ve been doing
spoiler
talking about suicide
whatever I’ve talked about this to fucking death but I may as well post my current thoughts.
So like, I’m rarely suicidal in the way of like, I have a gun to my head and need to be talked down. Its just the mundane, extreme suffering and the only way to end it. Its the natural conclusion of a thoroughly miserable and joyless life. I have no hope of being happy with my body and stuff for myself personally, or of being comfortable interacting with others, or how I feel I am percieved, or really just any of it. It is the only way to escape. An inevitability.
And like, thinking about the people irl, does anyone want a text like this. “I’m so constantly miserable I am going to kill myself. It is inescapable and there’s nothing I can do. I have to suffer a little longer before I put a bullet in my head”. Like no that’s insane. And like again, what’s it even going to do.
Fuck me man. Why’d my life have to be this.
self harm, kinda bad
Keep getting urges and wanting to relapse. I don’t know why I haven’t actually done it again. It feels so good. I can feel it. I want blood. oh my god its always so good. It would feel so right in this mood. I’m safe tonight and don’t really know when/if I’ll go back but fuckk.
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Yeah I get that. Feeling like you’re a burden on the mental health of others. That saying “sorrow shared is sorrow halved” doesn’t feel like it’s actually true when you’re chronically depressed.