Sorry I don’t mean to sounds like I have main character syndrome, that’s not my intent.
It sounds like depersonalisation to me. A form of dissociation.
Lots of trans people deal with it when they’re closeted. I know I did.
I have dp and used to have dr. it truly truly sucks.
I don’t feel important enough for that. Same reason I’m not religious. People claiming a personal relationship with the goddamn creator of the universe are hella conceited.
People claiming a personal relationship with the goddamn creator of the universe are hella conceited.
I’d say even prideful, you know one of the 7 deadly sins, often considered the worst of them and even the root/source of the other 6. The sheer hubris needed to believe you have a personal connection that others don’t is ridiculous.
the funniest ones to me are the ones that haven’t even read their books …like…bruh, if I thought a book had the answer to literally all of lifes questions i would be reading the shit out of it.
but the majority of these people claiming to be religious are apparently content to be spoonfed a verse or two every week or so? there’s something seriously wrong with that lack of personal agency.
they’ve basically given up their own free will for the deluded idea they can live forever
Eh, if you believe that god is omnipotent then it’s not really hubristic to think that god can easily have a personal relationship with every living being, which includes you
I thought it said Lotus of Control and I was 'bout to grab a flamethrower ready to burn some flower down.
If you tap it you get 3 free mana and a riding crop
i think this is a common side effect of being self aware
little existential crises before getting back into life
Last night I turned off a small metalic lamp that’s next to my bed. I then heard a tapping sound like a small dripping water hitting the metalic lamp.
I turned the lamp on. I saw no water. The tapping stopped. I looked at the ceiling. No sign of water. I looked at the lamp. No water. Turned the light back off. Rolled back over, and got comfy.
Tap…tap…tap…
Turned the light back on. Tapping stopped. Still no water.
Turned the light off. The second the light was off, I heard the tap again.
Turned it back on. Still no water.
Got up, got out of bed, checked all around my night stand. Checked behind it. Nothing out of the ordinary.
While standing next to the bed, turned the light off. Tapping resumed.
Turned the light back on, and walked to the living room. Layed down on the couch.
Light on in the bedroom. I’m in the living room. Turn the living room light off.
Now there’s tapping inside the pipes inside the walls. Totally different tap. Totally different place. Totally different tapping sound. This didn’t sound like dripping water. This sounded like someone hitting the pipes with a wooden spoon with the same cadence.
Tap…tap…tap…
But it always stopped when I turned the light on.
So I went into the bathroom, and took a shower.
Now, here’s the kicker. I live alone. I have no pets. I have no rodents in the walls.
The whole thing came off like someone playing a prank on me. Except that person didn’t exist. It felt like I was living some 1930s comedy skit. Some Abbot and Costello skit. Except this is just me, alone in my apartment, going insane.
You sure it wasn’t just the light fixture or bulb contracting after cooling down from being warm after being on? Metal light fixtures tend to do that. Especially in the winter.
Sounds like poorly soldered joints cracking to me
Except this is just me, alone in my apartment, going insane.
Username checks out xD
An even more horrible thought is no one can prove that isn’t what’s happening.
No. I think my life is generally too boring to be scripted.
I mean… Like a video game, sure.
Something scripted the laws that govern the universe, which in turn govern me. But it’s, like, dynamic and not on rails kinda scripted. Emergent gameplay kinda shit.
free will doesn’t exist. Premium will it’s everywhere
I’ve felt like I’m in a simulation quite often. It sounds very cliché and I never thought I’d actually feel it (the idea has always fascinated me but c’mon, really?) up until the last few years.
Some things happen in my life way more frequently than statistical probabilities would suggest.
Yeah, a bit. My life is one of those shows where when something’s finally going right it immediately gets undercut and everything falls apart
Tbh some of those incredible downturns in my life couldn’t be better scripted if you tried
something’s finally going right it immediately gets undercut and everything falls apart
This is so me 💀
Life is going a bit smoothly? Boom bullying, difficult assignment, test, shitty teacher, parents lash out, political problems, oops chemical spill leaked into your city’s water supply (actually happened), a FUCKING PLANE CRASHED within a 10 mile radius of me, fire on your street, random dude crashing into parked cars on your street (wtf), a fucking global pandemic, civil unrest, suppression of protests, insurrection/coup attempt… etc… etc…
If the world seems unreal & you feel like you’re watching yourself play a role in a movie rather than living your life, then that might be a psychiatric disorder worth evaluation by a professional. It’s normal on occasions, but not beyond that it interferes with your regular ability to function.
OP, please heed this. Make an appointment with a professional ASAP. If you’re not able to do so or not able to get an appointment soon, please talk to someone you trust and ask them to keep an eye out/check in on you to make sure these feelings of depersonalization don’t spiral into something bigger and/or unsafe. If needed, please visit a psychiatric ER.
Some mental disorders that present this way are theorized to be degenerative, and prolonged/multiple episodes of psychosis make it harder to treat and manage. Ideally getting them under control before a first full psychotic episode can even come to head.
No, but it’s something I’ve heard other people describe. I don’t know if it’s common, but it doesn’t sound odd.
People at church when I went as a kid would talk about a sense of feeling guided. People talked about feeling “called” to something. I always felt a lot of nothing, but I don’t think most of them were lying about that feeling, even if I suspect a different source than they did.
that sense of being guided is just free will, most people really don’t have it/experience it often to realize this because they’re effectively stuck in the labor trap. perpetually struggling for the basic survival needs of food/water/shelter that their brain barely considers the higher needs of self actualization and all that other rich-people problem shit.
religion is popular with poor people (because it’s makes accepting you have no/limited agency easier to swallow, i guess?) and dumb people who like give up their free will (because making choices scares them i assume?)
A lot of your life will play out seemingly by design, but it’s just a byproduct of living in a society.
I watch scenes in Movie/TV where a character has a traumatic childhood and memory/flacshback scene, then I realize I have the same feel, so I feel like someone staged it, like my older brother is actually an actor in this dark version of truman show purposfully giving me that traumatic memory.
movies are meant to make you feel a certain way, to come to some realization in your own life. this is the point of all (halfway decent) art, somebody is telling you a message amd your supposed to figure out what the message is
Shit… which telephone do I use to exit the simulation?
ALL THE PAYPHONES ARE GONE!
Edit: Or do you mean like I’m supposed to stay in this fictional world and be the protagonist? Is that traumatic childhood necessary to have a good story? lol
only tangibly related to your question
there are some people who think conflict is required to bring about higher levels of consciousness, though that’s probably just a hierarchy of needs things playing out more often than not.
there’s this old jewish tradition uh…i forget the word for it, but basically the most sacred act you can do is teach someone else to be self sufficient. (whether that’s financially/emotionally/whatever, before you can seriously help others you must be self sufficient, therefor you should help others become self sufficient).
one way to do this is via stories, examining the stories etc.
but uh…yes, generally trauma is a prelude to creativity. people who don’t know struggle have no good/relatable stories to tell.
I don’t feel like my life is scripted per se, but sometimes I’ll be talking to someone and all of the sudden it feels like someone else has taken control of my body and is doing all the talking while I just sit back and watch. I have to concentrate to get back in control.
That happens large when I’m on 'shrooms.
Not so much scripted as just I can logically follow where I was to where I am and infer where I’m going next. There’s surprises to be sure but there’s only so many way things can happen given the parameters of a story you’re very familiar with
