• NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    between the sounds of laughter of adults catching butterflies

    This pill might fucking kill you

    teeheeheee

    It also might cause your eyes to explode

    • buttfarts@lemy.lol
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      2 months ago

      What if ads had to show side affects by law.

      So like theres a guy with gut wrenching abdominal cramps audibly blowing liquid ass mulch into the toilet bowel while moaning painfully.

      Scene cuts to he’s smiling and cutting the grass in the front yard.

  • miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 months ago

    Strange joint pain, anal leakage, hair loss, anal leakage, minor headaches, anal leakage, throbbing veins, anal leakage, sore throat, anal leakage, eye twitching, anal leakage, shrink dink, anal leakage, tender nipples, anal leakage.

    • logos@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      • Bone Sporking • Late Onset Albinism • Facial Corkboarding • Restless Torso Syndrome • REO Speedlung • Permanent Blindness • Nostril Inversion • Dissolving Intestine Syndrome • Spontaneous and Uncontrollable Gum Growth • X-Ray Hearing • Ankle Bearding • Brainwhistle • Arby’s Mouth • Steven Tyler Lip • Hairy Uvula • Jimmy Cracked Corns • Scrotal Bassoon • Massive Weight Gains • Scrappy Dooism • Honus Wagner Disease • Hungry, Hungry Hipbones • Capillary Yogurt • Hair Swelling • Minor Heart Explosions • Skeletal Xylophoning

    • humanspiral@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      Fun fact… anal leakage’s first big hit was not even pharma related. It was potato chips.

  • jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org
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    2 months ago

    I recently overheard one that was “fatal infection of the skin of the perineum.” I thought might be one of the worst ways to go out.

    • lol_idk@lemmy.ml
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      2 months ago

      Farxiga

      Not just your normal fun kind of fatal infection, but the necrotizing fasciitis kind of fun

  • JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    Is this something American I’m too British to have experienced? Also, I use adblock so I probability wouldn’t see it anyway.

  • fishbone@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 months ago

    Side effects may include:

    spoiler

    3 inches of blood

    Anorexia Nervosa

    Cephalic Carnage

    Fleshgod Apocalypse

    Gorod

    Ion Dissonance

    Katatonia

    Malevolent Creation

    Malignancy

    Mayhem

    Mütiilation

    Neurosis

    Nocturnal Rites

    Odious Mortem

    Phobia

    Severe Tortue

    Sickening Horror

    Spawn of Possesion

    Vampire Moose

    Vehemence

    Viraemia

    Visceral Bleeding

    Vital Remains

    Ask your doctor if Abilify is right for you. (Side note, fuck Abilify. It’s the worst med I’ve ever taken by a huge margin)

      • fishbone@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 months ago

        They are! Some of them even have good music (ouch, self jab). A lot of them fall squarely in the realm of non metalheads saying “this isn’t music/this is just noise”, a few of them are small scale bands, and a few of them are really iconic bands.

        3 inches of Blood is very much the outlier genre-wise, it’s power metal about DnD stuff.

  • fishbone@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 months ago

    Relevant (and absurd) Dethklok song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hP3XmWdH_vg

    Lyrics:

    spoiler

    Pull the plug (x8)


    I drove my truck into a moving van

    It was all filled up with jet fuel and

    I crashed right in and explosion

    Smash through the window and ripped off my hands

    Medical team drove up and found me

    Bleeding in pieces picked up off the street

    Drove me into a filthy hospital

    Horror experienced financially

    Woke up in pain in a gown in bed

    Internal hemorrhaging inside my head

    I really think that I should be dead

    I saw the bill and then I cry bled

    To keep me alive it is costing me

    National deficit times three

    There is no way to avoid this fee

    Please pull the plug and kill me


    It’s costing too much

    Pull the plug

    It’s costing too much

    Pull the plug (x16)


    Aneurysm

    Botulism

    Epilepsy

    Narcolepsy

    Pull the plug

    Nearsighted

    Breath lighted

    Cataracts

    Heart attacks

    Pull the plug

    Hepatitis

    Bronchitis

    Appendicitis

    Arthritis

    Pull the plug

    Encephalitis

    Adenitus

    Mastoiditus

    Capsulitus

    Pull the plug now (x4)


    Pay you my life instead of life support

    Harvest my plasma because it’s worth more

    Take all my blood and my organs

    Sell them to buyers over in third worlds

    Burn my cadaver for some energy

    Charge the patients in their misery

    Such a strong quarter for the industry

    Pharmaceutical fucking victory


    Can’t pay the price

    Pull the plug

    Pay with my life

    Pull the plug

    Say my farewell

    Pull the plug

    See you in hell

    I’ll fucking pull the plug