• The Pantser@lemmy.world
    88·
    10 months ago

    Look! In the sky! It’s a bird, it’s a plane! No! It’s Superman fucking his cousin!

    Really though she probably is the only one who can take his load without it blowing out the top of her skull.

      • skydivekingair@lemmy.world
        133·
        10 months ago

        Ejaculation of semen is entirely involuntary in the human male, and in all other forms of terrestrial life. It would be unreasonable to assume otherwise for a kryptonian

        Why exactly would the author jump to this conclusion? First it’s noted that Superman has precise muscle control. He can and has altered his voice using such a technique. Second he says it right there, he’s not terrestrial. Why would he have the same involuntary spasms from orgasm as an earthling? Even if he didn’t have his super muscular control there’s no cannon on how goofy a face kryptonians make when they nut.

        It goes on to say the sperm cells would be super powered, but they probably need a steady dose of yellow sunlight before they’re ripping holes in ovaries.

        This isn’t even getting into the theory that Superman isn’t super strong, he’s just a very powerful short range telekinetic psychic. Save that one for another time.

        • deweydecibel@lemmy.worldEnglish
          19·
          10 months ago

          My friend, that eassy was written in 1969.

          Much of what your sighting wasn’t cannon yet, and given the internet didn’t exist, nor did the kind of nerd culture we have today, it’s entirely reasonable for a writer at the time to not be expected to have encyclopedic knowledge of Superman canon. Insofar as there even was true canon given it was the twilight of the Silver Age, when “bonkers” was the name of the game.

          Moreover, that eassy is pretty famous for being such a candid, deep dive into such a silly topic but bringing up something most people at the time hadn’t considered. This was 1969, published in a mens magazine, by a sci-fi writer, that basically took on meme status. It’s pretty obviously not meant to be taken seriously.

    • slazer2au@lemmy.worldEnglish
      11·
      10 months ago

      LL did. She and Superman have had kids over the years.

      The whole Injustice timeline is based on Superman being tricked into killing Louis and their unborn child.

    • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
      17·
      10 months ago

      CUMINCIDE

      Came from an alien star Came to bend you over a bar.

      Dna not a factor, balls a nuclear reactor

      Taking all your women Filling them with semen

      I come, she dies, I come, she dies, I come, she dies, I come!

      Super powered jets of white, filling you up with spite

      Giant, throbbing cock of might; Slamming your wife all damn night.

      Ramming your children too, object and I’ll fuck you

      You die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die!

      Spreading our race across the galaxy, conquest by spreading seed.

      Our weapon lethal ejaculation, Killing by insemination

      Superior jizm, final cataclysm!

      You die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die!

        • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
          6·
          10 months ago

          Lmao!

          That is what happens when you’re hanging out with a death metal band, and start joking about Superman jizzing and blowing Lois’ head off during sex.

          I started writing, and about twenty minutes later, there was a riff, and a bass line. The drummer wasn’t up to a good blast beat lol.

          It got recorded, but ended up tossed out lol. Afaik, the files are gone totally, but I kept the note on my phone :)

          Like, can you imagine a bunch of aliens dressed like GWAR, but spreading through the universe like Omniman’s people (from the comic/show invincible, if you haven’t ever run across the reference) to fuck their way to dominance? They either kill you by fucking you, or they breed you to make more of themselves.

          The guys were all high and half drunk, so there were joking plans for a sequel from the female aliens’ perspective, and then a final one when one of the offspring decided to take them out with its monster cock the size of a baseball bat by masturbating and exploding the original aliens. I doubt I’ll ever write those sequels lol.

            • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
              3·
              10 months ago

              Ikr?

              They actually are still together, except the vocalist. And I’m still friends with them. They don’t do death metal any more though, it’s a doom/sludge type of thing. I’m even on two tracks (credited under my real name, so I don’t share anything about them) doing growls and such (I can’t actually sing for shit, but I can do a decent growl and a low-range resonant throat singing as long as I keep it simple).

              Good guys :)

        • Faresh@lemmy.mlEnglish
          15·
          10 months ago

          Though I think it was already known that the union between close relatives has the tendency to create sickly offspring.

          • deweydecibel@lemmy.worldEnglish
            13·
            10 months ago

            Close relatives, yes, but not so much with cousins. And it wasn’t until Darwin that they truly started to grasp what was going on.

            It’s easy to spot the recurring issue of diseased/sickly/malformed offspring with incest between siblings, or between parents and children, because the rate of birth defects is much higher. Fourfold, in fact.

            Cousins didn’t produce them nearly as much, so it wasn’t an obvious enough trend. It’s perfectly possible for first cousins to have healthy offspring more than half the time. In fact some studies have found the risk of genetic defeats is not much higher than a regular couple where the women is over the age of 40. Which is to say, it’s low, but not low enough to ignore. There’s also a lot of other factors involved especially when it comes to closed ethnic groups that tend to only reproduce amongst themselves.

        • deweydecibel@lemmy.worldEnglish
          10·
          10 months ago

          Actually, they kind of were. By him.

          He’s the one that put forth the theories about the benefits of crossbreeding and the risks of inbreeding. He studied it in plants and wrote several books on it.

          And yes, when his first daughter died at 10, the first of 3 that would die young, he worried a great deal it was because of his marriage to his cousin. He didn’t have the facts or the data to prove it, but he had a very good inkling as to why 3 of his 10 kids died young and some of the ones that lived were infertile.

      • deweydecibel@lemmy.worldEnglish
        22·
        10 months ago

        He was married and having kids before his theories had fully taken shape.

        But he did know, or at least suspected, he’d made a mistake after the death of his first daughter. But he also had healthy children too, so he couldn’t say anything unequivocally.

        He ended up being a case study for his own theory, and he was well aware of it.

    • Slovene@feddit.nl
      1·
      10 months ago

      And Jerry Lee Lewis married his 13 year old cousin so … swings and roundabouts.

    • SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zipEnglish
      3·
      10 months ago

      Am I misreading your comment? What’s cousin by marriage? Jor-el (Superman’s dad) and Zor-el(supergirl’s dad) are brothers.

      • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com
        1·
        10 months ago

        i was not familiar with their actual lineage, but its plausible that if supergirls ‘dad’ had married a single mom (supergirls mom), but wasnt responsible for that kids conception they wouldnt technically share dna.

        they would be cousins by [a] marriage only

        i need this to be ok. please

  • RGB3x3@lemmy.worldEnglish
    20·
    10 months ago

    My wife and I go for Halloween as Luke and Leia before they knew they were siblings.

  • Erasmus@lemmy.worldEnglish
    121·
    10 months ago

    I think pot should be legal, I do. I also think if your cousin is super-hot, you should be able to fuck one time. - Dave Attell

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
    6·
    10 months ago

    Gotta keep that bloodline pure. European royalty already tried this for generations and it all worked out fine.