The only way to stop imaginary sexual assaults in bathrooms is to sexually assault every person who doesn’t meet our subjective and arbitrary gender expectations.
You know how they solved school shootings by making every student use those transparant backbacks? We can use the same material to make pants!
I, a cis woman, literally have been assaulted when trying to use a public bathroom because a TERF who had been handing out leaflets outside (it was a city centre public restroom) had decided that I must be trans, and thus my (rather large) boobs must be fake.
It’s part of why I think it’s so important for cis women to leverage the privilege we have in this context to speak out against transphobia. Experiences like mine underscore the fact that their rhetoric “we care about protecting [cisgender] women” is blatantly bullshit — all they care about is hurting trans women.
(Though it’s also important to avoid coming across like I’m saying “transphobia is a problem now that it’s affecting me, a cis woman!”. If things were framed that way, then I would be reinforcing the transphobia that I seek to oppose. But figuring out how to be clear about your intention is just a part of learning how to effectively leverage one’s privilege. I find that I’m most able to be clear when I use my experiences as part of a larger point about how feminism needs intersectional solidarity to be effective)
But yeah, I am legit scared of using public restrooms as a result of bad experiences. I remember when I first had a panic attack about this, following this bad experience (and a few other ones that were less bad, but still upsetting), and I was like “oh damn, do I have some capital-T Trauma about this?”)
I hope you punched her
and if you didn’t, i hope another victim punched her
actually i hope another did regardless of whether you did
Every accusation a confession.
I wanna know the number of terfs that have multiple bathrooms at home because this shit is dumb as fuck.
I never understood it. You go in and lock the stall door, no one sees your genitals.
I guess in the men’s restroom there are urinals, but you’re not going to see anyone’s dick unless you try to
Urinals are optional, anyway. Nobody knows what you’re doing in a stall.
That’s why I commit tax fraud in the bathroom
That’s just committing crime in the privacy of your own home with extra steps!
i dunno. there’s this place by the grand canyon. The bathrooms are all painted pink. I’m not that tall, but the stalls all only go as high as my sternum. when i sat down i could juuuust see over the walls. i think the place used to be a prison or concentration camp.
Skibidi 😉
I think urinals are inhumane.
I like them for the most part, they’re just efficient and keep piss off toilet seats.
Hate when they lack barriers between them though. I once saw a bathroom at a high school football stadium that had a round trough sitting in the middle of the room. Everyone just gathered around dicks out and crossing streams. I used the stall
keep piss off toilet seats.
Just sit down you barbarian
Even if I were to sit, the majority would not. At least in my country, I know others it’s more common for men to sit in public restrooms
Barbarians, the whole lot of them
The trough filled with ice in dive bars is another marvel of engineering that I can’t believe is still around
Perhaps unpopular opinion, but weird slightly dirty bathrooms are part of the dive bar vibe to me. Maybe it’s nostalgia from my college years
Oh for sure the dingy bathroom is part of the experience. It’s the rubbing shoulders with fellow patrons while everyone is trying to aim not to splash, especially after a few shots, that gets a little uncomfortable
Idk I like the occasional “nice watch” joke.
a fellow after my own heart. i used cufflinks, which was more fun for me because there is far less of a chance of them having a watch on.
Hide your genitals
Damn, that’s good. Saving it.
Haha I love these strips so much
One of them wanted to trans-investigate me simply because she couldn’t wait on the singular toilet the restaurant had. I told her “in use” like 3 times.
I hope you didn’t flush for her.
I did: the last thing I want is to leave more evidence that I even existed.
Now her friends friends will believe she hallucinated the event.
Those TERFs are insane to the point of exhibitionism lol
Who are the real sex-deviated groomers?
I find way more worrying that a random fanatic woman goes around asking to see girl and woman genitals than the idea of sharing a bathroom with another person who happens to pee from a “non-default” pee hole.
But I guess I’m a weirdo so it must be me.
Some people do weird things when they get a little power over others and are not actually that committed to the cause.
Reminds me of the controversy at the BAFTA. Everyone outraged that the guy the movie was about (I Swear, about Tourette) did a really Tourette thing, and lots of those complaining where from the social justice persuasion.
Especially with all the women they’ve recently named complicit on the Epstein list.
Women can be pedophiles and sexual abusers too. Especially when it comes to preying on someone younger and weaker than they are, like little girls. Sexual abuse is about power.
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I hope, humans will invent unisex toilets in near future
I was once harassed by a male security guard while using a single occupancy porta potty. We need to stop making excuses for bigots.
There have been a lot popping up all over. Even my hometown in the south had a college with coed bathrooms.
I came out of the stall to a very masc presenting person at the sink and was confused. Then noticed the urinals in the corner, and when i left i noticed the “unisex” next to the rstroom sign. Very cool imo.
Remember kids, its illegal to be a creep in public bathrooms no matter what your gender is. The sign on the door wont stop a bad actor and most people just have to pee.
I’ve worked in a place where the two bathrooms were simply labeled, “Toilets” and “Toilets and Urinals.” Then under those were signs saying to use whichever you’re more comfortable with.
They also had full floor-length stall doors and white noise machines. Bathrooms done right.
and white noise machines
Do you mean Karens or politicians?
Hah.
There are some clubs and bars in my city that do that too. Not to say sketchy things dont happen, but people have always been chill whenever im in there
based
now, time to go around looking for unattended public bathrooms and attaching these signs
Not to brag, but I have these in my house.
Our apartment is very progressive so all its bathrooms are gender neutral.
our bathrooms have assigned seating
All bathrooms are if you’re brave enough.
Those are a thing and are really popular in NYC. It’s just a line of individual private restroom with sinks in the hall :P (Ps: If that was sarcasm were too autistic to tell sorry)
Pretty common in my country, they’re awesome. Pointlessly gendered ones still remain though.
There really is an easy way to make those ungendered
• Add bins in both toilets (period wipes etc.)
• Remove male-focused urinals and replace them with unisex urinals.
• Have both bathrooms have the same number of urinals, same number of toilet booths.It’s also cheaper than building an entire new room for a third gender and eliminates the segregation wholly. On top of that, now queues are a thing of the past, as everyone can just quickly go to either spot. Personally I’m not a fan of urinals, but hey, as long as either toilet and urinal get cleant quickly…
If a new room must be added, it could be a disability-accessible toilet + have a diaper changing spot for babies. That’s also family-friendlier.
Unisex toilets liberate men, women, everyone. It makes it all more streamlined while increasing safety.
Your genitaliaaaaa~
Knock knock. Who’s there?
It’s me.
Wondering why you’re not naked.
Knock knock. Who’s there?
Me again!
Still wondering why you’re not naked.
Knock knock. Who’s there?
Smee. Smee who?
Smee again.
Still wondering why you’re not naked.
If Smee wants to see that, they’ll have to message me for my payment details first!
Here’s a YouTube link to the classic song/video we were quoting, in case you or anyone else passing through may be interested.
Show Me Your Genitals by Joe Lajoie
Just a warning: it’s easy to get it stuck in your head. I showed it to my mom (who thought it was hilarious) and now at random times there’s a ~60 year old woman wandering around the apartment singing ‘🎶 Show me your genitals! Your genitals! Show me your genitals! Your genitaliaaa! 🎶’ lmao!
Show me your genitals.
Your genitals.
Show me your genitals.
Genitalia!
I had a friend that was SO concerned about who was using what bathroom. He’s not a transphobe and has a transgender friend.
He just got really worked up about it and kept questioning me about it. Which makes me always respond with: “I’m a progressive”. He was like, “why do I get hate if I just say there’s two genders”, I said “it’s 'cause you’re wrong, ignoring the definition of gender, you know there are intersex people right?” … and we get stuck into this loop where he doesn’t really understand what I’m saying and gets into why he deserves any hate for saying there’s only two genders. No talk about sex vs gender or anything else makes any movement forward. Even if you think there’s only two genders, I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to them.
I hate to break it to you… but your friend is a transphobe. Prejudice doesn’t always come with violence and slurs.
Is someone who believes there are only two genders, and that’s it’s perfectly valid to transition between the two, a transphobe?
They are certainly wrong, but I feel like that’s an incorrect classification at that point.
A book that I really appreciated was “Racism without racists”. It looks at the question of why racism is so prevalent when there aren’t many people who consider themselves to be racist? And one answer to that is that many people who aren’t actively racist (or at least, don’t consider themselves to be, and may not be considered racist by other people) often still unintentionally perpetuate systemic racism, precisely because of the widely held notion that racism happens because of racist people. It’s more complicated than that. (This is why it’s not enough to be non-racist, we must strive to be anti-racist if we want to combat systemic racism).
In a similar vein, I would say that the hypothetical person you’re asking about would be perpetuating transphobia, but I don’t necessarily know if I’d call them transphobic — mostly because I think “transphobic” is not a particularly useful term in this context. People tend to become defensive when they are called transphobic/racist, and that can make it harder to convert people from being non-[racist/transphobic] into anti-[racist/transphobic].
I think it’s probably better to move to a model of thinking of harms like racism and transphobia as things that you do, rather than things that you are. For instance, although I would consider myself to be both anti-racist and anti-transphobic, there are still times where I think or do things that are racist or transphobic (in the sense of contributing to systemic racism or transphobia). However, the reason why I consider myself anti-racist and anti-transphobic is precisely because I work to hold myself accountable for these things, and to understand my part in the wider systemic oppression (and how I can undermine said oppression).
The transphobia example really sticks out to me, because as someone who is cisgender and bisexual, I always considered myself a trans ally, but it was in a nebulous, ineffectual way that is a big part of why “ally” has some negative connotations these days. I was anxious about doing or saying something wrong, and that meant that considering myself an ally was mostly of benefit to my own sense of being a good person. I knew trans people, but I wasn’t super close to any of them.
However, when my long term partner came out to me as trans, that catalysed me learning a heckton in order to support her, which made me realise how useless my “allyship” had been previously. I don’t know if I would consider that earlier version of me to be transphobic, but certainly I was unintentionally perpetuating systemic transphobia far more than I do now.
In a certain sense, I agree with you. However, I don’t necessarily think it’s productive to call people like this transphobic. I go into detail on why I think this in a reply to the other person who replied to you.
Is it productive to call someone transphobic ever (at least to their face)?
We would guess it does no good to most people as they instantly get defensive because most people care more about not being called a bigot than actually not being one.
Edit: Look around lemmy and reddit etc, it’s filled with people like this.
I hate to break it to you… but your friend is a transphobe
You think so? I usually try to avoid using those terms for more overt displays?
I won’t deny that the cognitive dissonance is jarring though. I think there’s a few schools of thought here. I can either cut them out of my life or I can slow burn them over time. I’ve known this guy for a long time and he respect me to a degree … so I’d rather be that friend that pulls him back to what I see as normal.
A “woman” is singular. Why can’t people get this right?
Singular, but contains multitudes.
Because English is tricky, inconsistent, and sometimes downright stupid with its seemingly arbitrary spelling rules, especially with plurals
It’s like a handful of words.
There’s tons of irregular plurals in the English.
And “woman” vs “women” is something that you see, what, 1500 times a day? Yeah it’s a real puzzler.
There’s a Youtuber I sometimes listen to who’s a native English speaker but pronounces “women” as “woman” and it sticks out to me every time I hear it. I don’t know why she says it that way, but as far as I know, her background includes South Africa and England.
Do people pronounce those words the same way in some parts of South Africa? I’ve never heard those words pronounced the same way in any UK or American (including Canada here) accents. I have far less exposure to South African English, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the Youtuber in question has a dialect I’m just unfamiliar with.
Genuine question: What do TERFs tend to say about surgery-created genitals?
Not real genitals, mutilation, what’s to be expected for bigots who will never see any trans person as valid
JKR, LOL.
We fucking hate people who constantly try and transvestigate and we also hate those who are co-operative with them because trans people going to the bathroom makes them “uncomfortable” MF WE JUST GOTTA SHIT! WE DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU cUZ IM SHITSINNNGGG 💩🚽💥
You can use whatever bathroom you want. I’m just here to inspect genitals.
Is that a real thing ? Usually that’s not what haters does from what I’m aware of
https://www.advocate.com/news/lesbian-mistaken-transgender-arizona-walmart
https://www.cbsnews.com/boston/news/women-boston-liberty-hotel-bathroom-gender/
disappointing how laughably easy this is to disprove
Now I’m worried
pawb.socialis another Nazi bar😑How is this even something ? In the end it’s just a bathroom, why does it bother people so much to care if someone is trans or not ?
My view is that a lot of TERFs care so much because many of them have faced patriarchal violence that they were unable to get justice for, and their powerlessness in the face of systemic misogyny causes them to “punch down” in order to build a false sense of empowerment.
I find them deeply tragic figures, because in addition to contributing to widespread systemic harms against trans people (and cis people caught in the crossfire of their hate), they are harming themselves too.
yea i should have noted this in my list, but these articles are all harassment of cis women 💀
Someone has replied to you with documented examples covered in the news, but I can also add that I (a cis woman) have personally experienced harassment of this sort a few times (including being forcibly groped by a TERF when trying to enter a city-centre public restroom. This was in the UK a few years ago, and they were campaigning outside)
