Uh, I’m pretty sure that is a jacemat.

pff. don’t even have jlates, jlasses and jutlery.

there are many crimes of america, here we see a fine denim specimen

Honey, bring out the fine denim, we have guests!

EDIT: is that something nobody’s ever said in the history of mankind?
Well… in the history of denim.

I kinda love the jablecloth! Everything except the name.