The photo was taken in an airport - https://bsky.app/profile/jasonkoebler.bsky.social/post/3mulhd5dcks2d
As someone that read SO MUCH James Patterson slop as a kid because I had read so much of the library already, incl Maximum Ride among others…
bruh. itd be funny if he was in the maximum ride universe and they call him a beast because hes actually some little furry in a cage tortured by scientists
bro trying to look like Alan Wake:

the most dangerous game

not having the cardboard cutout make one of his youtube thumbnail grimaces at the books

I didn’t realize it was a cardboard cutout at first, that’s just how he looks


This is how we get generation alpha to read theory
All right, stop, collaborate and listen / Beast is back with my brand new invention

Cracked me up to learn James Patterson is basically a brand name. Dude hasn’t written a book in years and years, it’s all ghostwriters or more frequently independent authors selling books under his name (their names appear on the cover, much much smaller) because his name sells.
His bibliography page at Wikipedia is insane. It’s goes on and on and on and on and on and… A year ago PBS said he wrote more than 200 books. Of course they should have said something like “200 books have been published with his name on them.”
Tommy Tallarico type portfolio
First thing I thought was ”wasn’t he the guy who had his name on a book cover next to Bill Clinton’s?”.
Apparently there are three of those books now.
Yeah, I read theory

That’s such a weird crossover because I can’t imagine the venn diagram circles of “Mr Beast fans” and “James Patterson fans” have much overlap.
I’m sure it’s meant for holiday gifting. It’s a tried and true tactic, take something kids like and make a shitty book about it. Family wants their kid to read so they buy a book that’s about the thing they like.
The “people who read books that haven’t been assigned as homework” circle probably doesn’t have much overlap either.
Would you be surprised to learn that it’s not selling?
Most dangerous game
HI I’M MR. BEAST AND I KIDNAPPED THIS UNHOUSED GUY AND I’M GONNA HUNT HIM FOR SPORT, AND IF HE SURVIVES FOR 24 HOURS, HE’S GONNA WIN A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF FEASTABLES
Also fuck the Mr. Beast book I want the Mr. Brace book

what did those trees do to deserve this
Ploy from Team Seas in their war against Team Trees
Hey kids! Sneak into the airport and make sure my book is shelved correctly!














