i watch commentary videos on youtube and crochet tutorials and sometimes i just have to stop because i randomly remember im neurodivergent and i dont exactly belong in any of this at all
I feel that
Hugs, and mood… Ive been feeling especially alienated from everyone today. Neurodivergence is a big part of it. My hypervigilance doesnt help. My inability to “be normal” is a part of it. I just want to dissapear from everyone… People are terrifying.
i feel less alone now that we relate to each other
I’m rooting for youyea same, the feeling of having zero sense of belonging anywhere. it sucks
this realization has taught to me appreciate particular aspects of the social gatherings that the vanilla majority typically partake in.
the biggest of these for me are queer spaces that permit sexual activity. i hate the music, i hate the draining conversations, i hate the impossible to discern social cues, i hate the peacocking – i hate absolutely everything about it except for the bottoms waiting on the slings/benches and that alone is enough to keep me coming back for more since it’s directly tied into being a human being.
it helps me feel connected to humanity and dispels all feelings of isolation/loneliness in the quickest and most intense way possible. the endorphins it’s generates even overrides my dislike for conversation a lot of the time – especially so when it’s w the bottom i was just with – and the temporary facade of confidence it exhibits to others watching me, makes me popular enough to make friends.
yeah i don’t have anywhere to go if something upends my current thing
