There is one point where I think medical cynicism benefits patients, but it’s not like in a huge way. Still. If you’re ever worried about saying something embarrassing or shameful to your doctor, absolutely don’t be. Don’t worry one bit. They may laugh to themselves later, or they tell your story to the other medical professionals, but they will absolutely not give a singular fuck that it was you who said it. They will not remember that, or care. If you tell your doctor that you once stuck a thing of toothpaste up your butt because you wanted it to smell minty, they’re gonna tell that story, but they will not remember your name, your face, or any other details about you, and the only detail that will get passed around is that a thing of toothpaste was up someone’s butt.

I was listening to doctors swap stories yesterday, which included two people swapping similar stories, wondering whether it was the same patient, and then realising neither one could remember literally anything else about the patient.

So my mom’s friend has a six year old daughter that’s, well, kinda adorable!

Yeah children can be overstimulating, but I do have that parental instinct thing going on.

Mentioning her to an acquaintance and getting shot down with “I don’t do kids” is a uh… Little disappointing.

Taking a shift tomorrow. Don’t wanna Need money for meds

My new pharmacist is super nice. She tries to give me advice on meds and how to avoid side effects, and that is probably useful to many.

I’m fucking unemployable.

I ace every technical assessment, my work when I’m focused is great. I’m a ticketed journeyperson who can get hired on that simple fact alone.

I have been fired from so many companies. I cannot get into a routine. My ADHD is so severe when i finally saw a specialist they said it might be one of the worst cases they’ve seen and were surprised at how far i got in my career unmedicated for 30+ years.

Even medicated I struggle to follow schedules and struggle to give 2 shits about the rules. I leave early because my brain cannot handle being on the job anymore.

Does anyone care that i got more done while i was here than most other workers did in the day? (not a brag, just in relation to an employer’s expectations) no, I’m reprimanded for not giving even more of my labour power away for essentially free.

Oh someone said i took an hour for lunch? What did that person do today? No they’re more valuable because they act as your eyes and ears for disciplinary actions…

Fuck working. Fuck bills.

I got hired the same day i got fired. The only thing keeping my family above water is the decision i made to actually get my ticket. If i was unlucky enough to be in an uncertified trade or career I’d be a pariah and have to move away

I’m so frustrated by how difficult everything always has to be. I have wanted, for ages, to apply for a Blue Badge, it gives disabled people some benefits like priority parking, various concessions and legal protections. But it’s so difficult to apply for. I don’t have any of the allowed methods of ID, you have to provide a ton of evidence and I don’t feel I have the strength to go around begging doctors and collecting all this crap again, especially since my old GPs have all retired and all we have now are a revolving door of locums who never respond to messages, you need proof of address within 3 months which I don’t have, and all kinds of other crap. Everything in life is just firewalled by an overwhelming amount of bureaucracy now, it’s too exhausting to deal with.

I hadn’t intended to make another post so soon, but I saw this:

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/40022943/mum-drags-cop-disabled-avoids-jail/

A policeman’s knee was injured while trying to arrest someone and he’s now not fit for active service. His biggest complaint about this? Not the pain he must be in, not the fact he can no longer do things he wants. No, his biggest complaint is "He was left with permanent injuries to his knee and can no longer work on frontline duties. The officer also said the burden he believes he is placing on others was the equivalent of ”living a death sentence.”

We live in such a sick capitalist society that if you’re injured at work and can no longer do everything you used to, your biggest worry is that you’re now a burden on society. And no wonder, since society does treat the disabled as a burden.

I’m so tired, lemme just lay here on the floor for a bit.

Hope everyone is hanging in there okay, sending hugs for any who need one.

My weird allergy problems have been getting significantly worse recently.

They’ve been getting worse for years with more and more things causing reactions but I had such an awful time with doctors not caring about or believing me when I first started having issues ive just been trying to deal with it on my own for like 7 years now.

I think it’s too much for me to handle on my own now but im afraid ill try and get help and get the same reaction as before, or get scammed by some “specialist” that preys on people needing help for complex health issues, or they’ll figure out whats wrong but treatment doesnt help or there is no treatment, or ill actually get help and itll be so expensive and fully out of pocket that my entire paycheck will be dedicated to paying for something that should be free.

I need to do another elimination diet in the meantime but there’s a few things in my adoptive parents house that I’m allergic to that could mess with the results and I hate having to eat so much meat for the early stages of it.

When things weren’t so bad I was trying to go vegan and now that feels impossible

My hummus/shredded carrots/fried onions/beansprouts/fried silken tofu/cucumber and potato crisps sandwich is built in part as a thought experiment on food texture sensitivity exposure and in part because it would be fun to eat. Thanks @Acute_Engles@hexbear.net

I am not gonna need to eat anything else today . Honestly I may be in a calorie surplus for the week

If I had a nickel for every time Sarah Anderson made a comic that misunderstood the basic function of major organs and in which the punchline is her anxiety disorder, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.

I’m making a texture sandwich. I’m putting as many weird textures in it as possible. Suggestions welcome.

I have suspected myself of having an autoimmune disorder for a while, I get tired so easily, it is hard to game past an hour now. I could never play past 2-3 hours as a teen when others could play for nearly 7, but that led to realisation that I will never be able to work like others, I will always be the outsider, the one who can’t dine past midnight, one who needs more sleep, one who needs less loud music.

My flavor of small talk be like:

-Ranting about people buying the store’s entire inventory and flipping through hundreds of coupons at checkout✅

-Talking about the weather ❌

I have stopped the quetiapine for two reasons:

1.) The side effects are ASS and the potential future chronic side effects from chronic exposure as also ASS.

2.) Was put on it because I had a blow up with my family, which boiled down to my mom being an asshat who never listens to me. (And she wonders why I get belligerent!) Was doing bog standard before being on it.

Well, except for the awful living conditions and being stuff living with my awful terrible mom of course! Antipsychotics won’t magic that away.

I’m not risking my own health just because my mom is all like “Qwerty will my little twit that demean, use as a metaphorical stress ball, and does whatever I tell him to do!”

Honestly her mask is slipping with my sibling too. Her true colors show more and more as she gets older. She’s doing that thing of abandoning a lot of basic self responsibility stuff like washing her own cloths and getting her own food “parentifying” both of us.

My sibling is still in denial of the true matter of the situation and (begrudgingly) obliges, although I’m pretty sure their patience is running thin. I can tell what’s going on, so her requests for me to “parent” her are all met with firm “no”'s.

Oh! And her unwanted snarky mean comments are more frequent and nastier.

Heh… Maybe if I’m lucky the nonexistent gods will reschedule their “appointment with her” to happen a little sooner. The crows can see to “Mrs. Transphobe”'s funeral.

Mini bonus point 3.) Been going down something of an “autism rebirth” type pipeline or… Something?

It can essentially be summed up as “My autism isn’t the problem, the status quo is!”

Do like the adderal though. That genuinely helps me.