I’ve had a lot of conversations with cis people about the trans experience and most of these have been cordial, if not enjoyable! While most of the points raised when discussing the struggle for trans liberation elicit sympathy from these people the topic of minors transitioning tends to get the strongest and most oppositional responses. They seem to believe that the possibility that someone may regret transitioning for identity or reproductive reasons justifies blanket bans on transitioning for minors. I’ve also heard concerns about gender affirming care being used as an avenue for medical abuse, of which I am unaware of any verified cases.
How does one approach the topic of trans liberation for trans minors? Obvously debatelord antics aren’t going to win hearts and minds but there has got to be some narrative angle that resonates with cis people or otherwise dispells their fears of cis children coming to harm.
Need to get cis people use to the idea that forcing a child to go through the wrong puberty or preventing them from going through any puberty with alongside their peers is child abuse.
Gender affirming care is widely used for cis kids. Banning it specifically for trans kids is pure discrimination. And also it’s reversible.
Unfortunately, I don’t see a way to do it without exposing our own traumas. Like, because I went through the wrong puberty, I grew up with a bone-deep certainty that I was an ugly unlovable freak that no one should look at or touch. I missed out on the relationship-related life milestones that all my peers got to experience, essentially rendering me developmentally stunted.
I think parents would care about that, I know mine did, but we didn’t even know what was wrong. If they’re legitimately worried about “regret” then make them know how much their child will regret not starting earlier.
And it’s humiliating to even talk about and I know most people aren’t going to want to do it, but I don’t see another way.
This was very powerful and gave me a lot to chew on regarding my own experiences as a trans person. Thank you, I feel that is a fairly compelling answer to what kind of difference a delayed transition makes.
honestly i just don’t think i ought to have a say in what other people get to do with their bodies. unfortunately, most cultures having these “debates” don’t really see children as people, or value bodily autonomy in general, and i’m not sure how to breach that gulf of understanding, but i fear it might need to be tailored to the individual.
they probably think transition for kids means 10 year olds getting surgery and can be corrected on what it really means.
i’ve also had some success asking why puberty blockers exist at all, and then when they don’t know or say something wrong you explain about precocious puberty.
Oh interesting, and when you bring up precocious puberty how exactly do you circle it back to the trans experience? I bring it up too but maybe theres some nuances I’m missing.
usually they’re repeating fox news fearmongering about medical safety and if it’s safe for “normal” kids with a “legitimate” medical condition to delay puberty a few years they aren’t equipped to keep arguing against blockers for trans kids who are a little older. or deeply questioning kids, because they’re obsessed with the idea of kids who aren’t actually trans getting on blockers and then hrt. something about going through the wrong puberty is bad apparently, who knew?
and i try not to roll my eyes too much speaking down to their vocabulary. their ignorance means the structure of their opinions is weak if they aren’t building their identity on being bigots.
Personally, I regret not transitioning when I was a teenager. And most of the trans people I know would probably tell me they feel the same if I asked them.
I strongly doubt the degree to which these are sincerely held beliefs as opposed to cynically deployed tactics, therefore
I don’t promote the trevor project necessarily but for the kind of people you are talking about this fact sheet would be helpful: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/facts-about-lgbtq-youth-suicide/
basically my argument would be “trans kids who don’t get gender affirming care are very likely to kill themselves, would you prefer that to them getting the evidenced based care that is recommended by the relevant experts?”
Other comments on the thread bring up good points. I’d also say that you can add your own personal touch to it. Wouldn’t you have wanted to transition as a child?
Tell them about all that trans kids who don’t transition early miss out on. I know I missed out on a lot and have regrets. I wouldn’t necessarily go into traumatic details, but you should make it real what their choice actually means.
Cis people, liberals, and all other kinds of moralists need constant reminds that “inaction” of forcing trans kids down the wrong puberty when alternatives exist is also an “action”, and a deeply damaging one at that. There are no neutral actions in the web of karma. Don’t let the cis pretend otherwise.
“There are no neutral actions in the web of karma.”
I will be stealing this. Thank you. The rest of what you said was also very inspiring, without medical intervention the body will take actions that will cause lasting harm to the child. Navigating the line between revealing enough to give an authentic description of a lived experience and overexposing traumatic details is intimidating but I think that route may be necessary for a discussion like this. Its been said that narratives win hearts and minds better than facts do.
of course my internalized transphobia is still caked on in places, it can be hard to imagine how the trauma could matter to others while I reflexively downplay it to myselfBtw what’s your pfp from? It’s so cute!
Well I knew this day would come eventually.
It is a drawing of Kenzaki Tsurugi (a character from a trashy gacha game) a friend of mine drew for me a while back.
I’ve been collecting sfw fanarts of her for years and find her relatable.
So the demon girlfailure archetype?
I am so thoroughly embarrassed by talking about fandomy stuff that I am putting it in a dropdown.
Ok so no, actually.
Tsurugi is a weirdly nuanced character for a gatcha game about collecting anime schoolgirls. The internal conflict the character faces is that she is feared, respected, and supported in her life as the leader of a paramilitary organization but finds social interactions outside of her inner circle to be confusing and overwhelming, which impedes her desire to “be more like all the other girls”. She’s very neurodivergent-coded and I can heavily relate to the struggle to have for oneself the experiences one sees as having missed out on. I was really surprised when I read her arc in the game because it was kind of sweet and the otakubait creepyness was fairly minimal. Sadly, I think she’s a victim of the changes made to BlArchive’s creative direction early on in its life cycle. She’s in the highest rarity tier for the regular drop pools and got an event-limited swimsuit variant almost immediately after launch (and the story in that one is about her girliepops taking her to see the ocean and its super super sweet) but in the five years since then she hasn’t been featured much at all. Meanwhile, one of her besties in the lowest rarity tier became a prominently featured character due to fan responses. The silver lining to this unpopularity is that the SFW fanart crowds out the super gross porn, more popular characters get more NSFW in the NSFW:SFW ratio… I think.
no need to be embarrassed. Have you seen what I talk about in the mega lol?
You know that is pretty relatable.
BlArchive
My condolences
Truly one of my guiltymost pleasures, and poor Tsurugi is trapped in it, forever.
