THE GOVERNMENT, TWO DAYS AGO: ISN’T THERE SOMEONE YOU FORGOT TO ASK???
I don’t need to be cautioned about how this would have been a bad idea but like holy fucking shit if I want to court addiction to a fucking pseudo opiate that should be my fucking business! I literally and for the only time had the thought of “what if I just take this fucking ONCE to try to sleep, maybe if I can just sleep once or twice it’ll help my shoulder recover”
But no! This country has to do everything in its power to maximize the pain and suffering of everyone alive. I’m so fucking ANGRY. I could not be more angry at this constantly happening and the people responsible just constantly getting away with it. What new fucked to death way will they fuck everyone tomorrow and how much fucking more will they get away with it?
Meanwhile the fucking doctor I saw who gave me less care and attention than a fucking LLM (which nobody needs to tell me can do nothing more than provide a facsimile of pretending to even be able to give a shit) just threw prescription muscle relaxers at me with no discussion or explanation of her intent for me to use or side effects or anything. I could have fucking killed myself with those, but ah, the medical gatekeeper said that would have been fine.
I feel like I’m never going to see anything good happen ever again and not in a “i’m depressed” way but in a “ive literally never seen anything get better for anyone in 36 years” way
Yeah and it really just fucking kills me that living in a country like this, with a government like ours, it truly feels like a decision was made decades ago that will NEVER be unmade. The die is cast, the thread of fate is severed, and we are cursed to live in this doomed world without end. We know the war on drugs did nothing but empower criminal enterprise, the carceral system, and ruin the lives of literally millions worldwide. And it persists. Even legalizing weed has been a painfully, glacially slow process to witness. It’s one of the things I look at and just lose all hope over. We knew before I was even born what a fucking mistake it all was but because the world’s worst people still benefit from it it’s not going to change, probably even until I die. Which will probably be in agony, denied opiates to “protect” me from addiction.