Why does a toaster need to know what day it is??
Because Sunday nights I prefer my toast one tiny bit ligther. Tsk…obviously.
So you can set it to automatic toast your toast in the morning so it’s warm when you wake up but you wake up at different times on workdays vs weekends
Automatic coffee, I understand despite it making worse coffee. Automatic toast? I’m having a hard time imagining… Actually nevermind, there are all kinds of people.
My favorite method is to slather it with softened butter and do it on a pan
One grilled cheese sandwich please, and hold the cheese
If I’m feeling extra slutty I’ll use bacon grease
In fact, hold the bread.
That reminds me, I got a tip once to use butter as coffee creamer. I didn’t enjoy it, so I decided to try bacon grease to see if it would make it worse.
It did.
Someone turn this into a dalek
Installing ads
Far less annoying and much more useful.
Toaster Nightmares in 1987: Falling into a bathtub full of water, malevolent firefighter clowns, & forks.
Toaster Nightmares in 2026: Being bricked by a software update.
Toaster Nightmares
Well if talky toaster taught me anything I’m going to need a 14 lb lump hammer.
Should be returned to the store at about 10,000kph
And it’s still worse than this toaster from the 60s.
But can it toast a Jesus on the bread?
“When you just want to toast your bread but you decided to buy a smart toaster for absolutely no good reason.”
