Hey hey all! TW about surgery questions regarding SRS parts and stuff like that.
spoiler
I have a question that I don’t really know where else to ask. I have a specific set of dysmorphic concerns. Not everything kicks off the feelings, but some things always do.
One of the things that always triggers the feeling is testicles. I fucking hate having them, seeing them, feeling them. It’s easily among the worst (or tied for the worst) things to deal with. I’ve looked at the possibility of seeking an orchiectomy, but a very small part of me is afraid that doing something like that but not going for “full SRS surgery” will just cause people to treat me differently. The question is only becoming a bit more real lately to me now that I may have the opportunity to actually get the surgery in the coming year or two.
Maybe it’s a bit silly or whatever and I know gender and all of this is really complicated and more just up to us individually, but I guess I’m just curious what others think about all of this.
Has anyone done similar? How has it changed your dating life afterwards? Has it affected you in other ways? What kinda considerations are there for something like this?
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I’m not that far yet in my introspection my egg cracking is relatively new. I have some dysphoria about my genitals, sometimes I’m ok with it, sometimes not. I don’t understand exactly what I want from it and maybe it is linked to my previous romantic experience.
As for people treating you differently. It’s easy to say it as I’m probably not the one who will be able to enforce my own advice but f… them if they are not okay with your want or need of your own body.
Any surgery should be your own choice for your own good.
I’ve only gotten an orchi and don’t plan to get a vaginoplasty, but I’m also not really in the dating scene. No one treats me any differently except for myself. I’m a lot more comfortable in my body and thus more comfortable expressing myself and my gender. There are definitely people who desire me carnally, and anyone who cares whether or not I have balls is really too cooked to be with me anyway.
I think you have the right of it (as do other people in the thread). I guess I just need to get out of my own head about what other people think. I know I would be happier with the surgery, so… fuck everyone else?
If it makes you feel any better, it’s not fuck EVERYONE, just anybody that would infringe on your right to your own body.
I get it, though. My orchiectomy was very symbolic for me, taking control of my own existence. Before that, I constantly felt like any major life decision I would have to run by everyone in my life to make sure I was being sensible by their standards. But my friends don’t really want to make my decisions for me, and they don’t feel the dysphoria that I feel. It’s been really freeing to TELL my friends what I’m doing instead of asking for some awkward social permission.
I was considering just doing an orchiectomy for a long time before settling on a full vaginoplasty. It’s perfectly valid to do just the orchi, or nothing at all.
Erections will become more difficult, if that is important to you. Medications can help.
Dating wise I can’t speak to super well, but I haven’t personally met anyone who was into balls really. It might be a topic of conversation, but there’s probably people who wouldn’t even notice they are gone.
I don’t actually care about erections that much. They’re useful sometimes, but I wouldn’t be upset if they became a much more manual decision with medication or whatever.
I hate that “what will everyone think” is such a huge thing in my mind, but dating has already been hard enough depending on where I’m at, so I guess I just needing some perspective on how things changed for people as I go into the decision.
Thank you so much for your perspective!
Do what you want for you. How many people are going to see your genitals? How many of them are going to care if you have balls or not? If they care, is it a big loss?
Girl, I’m a slut, so many people will see, hahaha. I guess you’re right about not caring whether other people care or not, though. I think I just wanna know because it would change how I think about it before I make the decision (as much as I hate to admit it).
I think I’d be a lil sad if I couldn’t gobble a girls balls but like, I can’t see that being much more than like, a preference💅 if it’s a dealbreaker were they worth your time?
Probably not… I’m too desperate for any level of validation to not at least consider it, though.
I mean, you’re right, obviously. I should absolutely not worry about them. Buuuuuuuuuut, what if ‘the one’ was only mildly transphobic and had a preference 🥺 <— The literally dumbass way my brain works.
petpat you deserve better than that, girlie.
I got vaginoplasty, but even with that it’s not 100% the same as being a cis-woman, and there are still prejudices to deal with. There are some scars, arousal doesn’t produce lubrication, etc. The differences are minor, but prejudices can blow them out of proportion no matter which way you go.
And if you totally pretend to be cis, you’re probably not going to be satisfied by partners. Either them not being patient with low testosterone effects on erections, not using lube, prejudices against or fetishizing of trans-people overall, etc.
So, either choice is going to limit your pool of potential partners either way. Only way to avoid that these days is to not transition physically, but that’s not a reasonable reason alone to not do it, IMHO.
Hey girl! I can’t answer the questions, but I might be able to add something as someone in the same boat.
I’m not on hrt (yet, fingers crossed) but after some discussion with my partner, looking into things, and taking a long look at what truly causes me dysphoria, I came to the same conclusion you have.
The girls have to go, every time I see them I die a little inside and every time I have to use compression underwear or tape to keep everything smooth I’m reminded my body doesn’t match my brain, but I still want to keep the centerpiece, as my spouse and I both want to continue utilizing things. My sex drive has always been low, and I kind of prefer giving pleasure to receiving, so we are confident we can make things work, and since I won’t be having dysphoria during intimate moments, I think things should even pick up a bit, especially once I’m on hrt and won’t hate my appearance in the mirror.
You are completely valid for only wanting an orchi, or even if you didn’t want to do any srs. I know several women who are years into their transition, some of whom have even hit their “transition goals”, who don’t have plans for full SRS.
A bit too into details: I was always a grower, and once the girls are gone I should be able to keep everything smooth and pleasant down under once I get an orchi, however everyone’s bodies are different and that’s just one of my personal goals. I can’t tell others what works for them or even what they might like. I’m sure you’ve given it plenty of thought!
Just don’t get in your head about what others might think and you’ll be much better off.
You got this!
