Oh yeah I’m old lol. RLE is short for Real Life Experience. The long and short of it is many therapists used to make you live as your identified gender full time for a period of time before they would write you a letter of recommendation to start hormones. And back then you couldn’t get hormones without that letter, it acted as a diagnosis of gender dysphoria. The rise of the modern informed consent model is something I transitioned during about 11 years ago and it was kinda a huge deal.
But yeah as an old comic I spent too long looking for before deciding I probably shouldn’t link it anyways said, RLE more or less functioned as hazing for trans people by the medical establishment. Even as late as the early 10s you might be denied hormones for not transitioning to hetero (or bi depending on the therapist) or for not dressing exaggeratedly enough (in the mid teens a friend got refused a letter because she didn’t wear makeup or skirts to appointments).
I actually had that happen with my therapist, I refused to do so until they caved in. I wore a skirt and lipstick to appointments online, even though I’d normally not have done so. I hate having to put myself into an arbitrary box because others are narrowminded.
I wanted to do the RLE only accompanying with hormones. I felt it too scary to be dressed in an affirming way while I still looked the “wrong gender for my clothes” (and I thought it’d give me harassment).
I think that that’s why it’s so important to let people decide for themselves. The hormones should be over the counter and people should be able to try them out for at least a few months, with informed consent.
When I finally got the hormones, that was such BIG relief honestly. I nowadays manage to pass more and more and get gendered right, so I’m very happy about that.
Yeah I lucked out and had a decent therapist. I was afraid to shave my denial beard until I’d started hormones because everyone was going to ask about it (I’d been incredibly vocal about it during my egg days, it also hid my face from me). I wanted to be too late to stop when I came out. And yeah dressing feminine while masculine looking is fucking scary, and it’s even scarier to do it as a trans woman who can’t just brush it off as “fuck you and fuck gender expectations that’s why” or as a gag. I also was very uncomfortable because my experiments with feminine clothing had been extremely dysphoria inducing. It served as a reminder that my body wasn’t the way I wanted, and I was too broke for stuff like breast forms. Add in that I was young enough to get some huge changes if I could get hrt ASAP (I actually managed to get on before my hip bones fused).
If hrt had been available over the counter I probably would’ve started it before I’d even called to make an appointment. Hell my state barely even had hrt doctors back at that time.
Hell I didn’t learn makeup aside from eyeliner until I was recovering from bottom surgery
Oh yeah I’m old lol. RLE is short for Real Life Experience. The long and short of it is many therapists used to make you live as your identified gender full time for a period of time before they would write you a letter of recommendation to start hormones. And back then you couldn’t get hormones without that letter, it acted as a diagnosis of gender dysphoria. The rise of the modern informed consent model is something I transitioned during about 11 years ago and it was kinda a huge deal.
But yeah as an old comic I spent too long looking for before deciding I probably shouldn’t link it anyways said, RLE more or less functioned as hazing for trans people by the medical establishment. Even as late as the early 10s you might be denied hormones for not transitioning to hetero (or bi depending on the therapist) or for not dressing exaggeratedly enough (in the mid teens a friend got refused a letter because she didn’t wear makeup or skirts to appointments).
Thank you for explaining.
I’m sorry you had to struggle.
I’m glad that (if I understand correctly and please let me know if I don’t) that you get to be you.
I actually had that happen with my therapist, I refused to do so until they caved in. I wore a skirt and lipstick to appointments online, even though I’d normally not have done so. I hate having to put myself into an arbitrary box because others are narrowminded.
I wanted to do the RLE only accompanying with hormones. I felt it too scary to be dressed in an affirming way while I still looked the “wrong gender for my clothes” (and I thought it’d give me harassment).
I think that that’s why it’s so important to let people decide for themselves. The hormones should be over the counter and people should be able to try them out for at least a few months, with informed consent.
When I finally got the hormones, that was such BIG relief honestly. I nowadays manage to pass more and more and get gendered right, so I’m very happy about that.
Yeah I lucked out and had a decent therapist. I was afraid to shave my denial beard until I’d started hormones because everyone was going to ask about it (I’d been incredibly vocal about it during my egg days, it also hid my face from me). I wanted to be too late to stop when I came out. And yeah dressing feminine while masculine looking is fucking scary, and it’s even scarier to do it as a trans woman who can’t just brush it off as “fuck you and fuck gender expectations that’s why” or as a gag. I also was very uncomfortable because my experiments with feminine clothing had been extremely dysphoria inducing. It served as a reminder that my body wasn’t the way I wanted, and I was too broke for stuff like breast forms. Add in that I was young enough to get some huge changes if I could get hrt ASAP (I actually managed to get on before my hip bones fused).
If hrt had been available over the counter I probably would’ve started it before I’d even called to make an appointment. Hell my state barely even had hrt doctors back at that time.
Hell I didn’t learn makeup aside from eyeliner until I was recovering from bottom surgery