looking for a new slime

ask the cashier if their slime is squishy or glooby

she doesnt understand

pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is squishy and what is glooby

she laughs and says “it’s a good slime comrade"

buy a slime

its glooby

Irresponsible fucking slime owners like you make me sick, you can’t just let it ooze into your heart and home and then decide “it’s too glooby” when IT’S TOO LATE! And if you knew ANYTHING about what you were doing raising a slime you’d KNOW IT WOULD GET GLOOBY. And now you just want to TAKE IT BACK? Oughtta take YOU OUT BACK.

Do you have the receipt?

This nation was built on the gloobiness of its slimes!

you’ve already licked it tho

There will always be bucket of slop. Grins. : )

Glooby pls…

THIS SLIME is TOO GLOOBY for WOKE MILLENNIALS