For me it was the fact that I would always be slower than everyone else and I would have to put in twice the effort.

    • Elaine@lemm.ee
      0·
      11 days ago

      I feel this in my soul unfortunately. Learned some wild stuff about my family not too long ago and it’s hard to reconcile things now.

      • Anissem@lemmy.ml
        1·
        11 days ago

        Same, not recent but I have a long list of eye opening facts I’ve collected throughout my life. Eventually you just accept it all. It’s not been easy to get to this point, it took a lot of mental anguish to get this numb to it all.

  • AtariDump@lemmy.world
    6·
    10 days ago

    1. People die unexpectedly. Tell anyone and everyone that you love verbally that you love them (even if it’s man to man). Don’t leave anyone guessing as to how you felt about them.

    2. Not everyone is a friend for life, even if you’ve been friends for 5/10/20/40/80 years.

    3. People change and you can’t control that.

    4. Recording the people you love speaking; preferably while you ask them about their lives. See #1

  • SomGye@dormi.zone
    6·
    10 days ago

    Realizing that I’ll never be able to achieve any of my previous hopes or “dreams”, it’s too late, and that life is fundamentally uneven and unfair.
    Similarly, realizing there’s no sense of “karma” or balance in real life, it’s just a crutch that people can use to justify or rationalize things.

  • Kurtagag@lemmy.caEnglish
    4·
    11 days ago

    I’ll never be the same again after my brain injury.

    In some ways thats a good thing but Im not 100# sure I’ll get all the walking stuff back exactly

  • Inf_V@kbin.earth
    3·
    11 days ago

    probably that the majority of people are self serving and extremely fake. it’s pretty insane how many “activists” there are that hate the people they supposedly want to protect.

    • lath@lemmy.world
      01·
      11 days ago

      That happens because it’s a social act. People who don’t want to, but have to due to some sort of obligation or as an indirect action towards achieving something else.

      Activism is a chore they have to do, so without people in charge sincere in what they do and aware of this type of obligation, any attempt at serious activism will end up half-baked and likely to do more harm than good.

      It’s tough to find people who do something for the sake of it and not as a springboard meant to pursue other interests.

  • venotic@kbin.melroy.org
    3·
    10 days ago

    Knowing the people who I ideally want to date or would have a better chance of dating, will forever be out of my reach because of missed opportunities in the past. For example, there’s a couple of friends I know I would’ve loved to date. One of them I could’ve had but nobody said anything to eachother and it had been 14 years ago when that chance came and went. We just mesh well together and can go the distance when it comes to conversing and getting along. But, I’m forever friend-zoned because nobody said anything when emotions were high back then.

    And another thing is accepting the fact that you aren’t as compatible with some of your friends when you thought you were. The painful part is realizing this after so long. I had a massive friend exodus last year. I’ve lost friends whom I’ve been with for 15 years, 10 years, 5 years and 3 years in that order. And it was simply because at somepoint, we just ignored the part where we weren’t as heavily compatible as we once were. And it showed the more times we were at odds with eachother. Hell, I lost another friend this year who I had hit it off well for 3 going 4 years and it’s the same example.

    • AtariDump@lemmy.world
      1·
      10 days ago

      “Friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant, did you ever notice that?”

      Stephen King

  • lordnikon@lemmy.worldEnglish
    3·
    11 days ago

    It’s that i won’t be having a long full life like my parents and I will have a much suffering up to my painful death.

  • NeedyPlatter@lemmy.caEnglish
    3·
    11 days ago

    I relate to your situation OP.

    I have ADHD and I think the hardest part about living with it is coming to terms to the fact that I’ll have to constantly put in more effort to meet the neurotypical standards for school and work. It’s exhausting to have to mange my symptoms in a world where every task throughout my day is designed to be preformed within a set time frame and getting off-track, even for a little while, even if it’s unintentional is seen as incompetence. I struggle to be able to let myself relax especially when I’m overstimulated due to this. Luckily, my country is pretty progressive and workplaces are schools are required to provide accommodations but unfortunately, that doesn’t mean that everyone will take my needs seriously.

    • neidu3@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      1·
      11 days ago

      Let me tell you a short story about Kevin.

      He had the same realization, so he went to trade school to avoid the parts of education that involved a lot of studying in the traditional sense. So he ended up as a decent welder.

      Fast forward a few “normal” jobs where he couldn’t quite fit because of the everyday drudgery of working either as a maintenance man or a factory worker, doing the same things over and over: He ended up applying to a job where the tag line was basically “no days are the same”

      He started working with sea fastening. You know those ships with a large superstructure in front of a completely flat back deck? His employer was in charge of all sorts of fittings and welds onboard ships so that containerized systems could be easily mounted in a secure manner.

      And said company was usually contracted by my former AND current employer to do the sea fastening aspect of mobilization.

      And yes, Kevin is a real person. And as soon as I see his name on the personnel list, I know it’s all going to go well and be a lot of fun while we’re at it. Kevin and I have been drunk on all continents together. (Well, except from Antarctica… so far). Be it occupying a Texas BBQ joint for an entire day while doing the layout planning from there, or chilling (literally) in a Singapore pool after a long days work.

      Oh yes, ADHD… he mentioned that he probably wouldn’t have ended up where he was without it. I’m not saying his situation is universally transferable, but it’s all about finding ones element.

      His only ADHD-related failing that I’ve noticed is that he usually struggles with airports. But that’s fine - we usually park our asses in a quiet airport lounge anyway.

      • NeedyPlatter@lemmy.caEnglish
        0·
        11 days ago

        I’m looking into doing something similar to Kevin, I want a job that’s more flexible but I’m worried that jobs like that won’t pay great. I settled on becoming an ultrasound tech because the college program incorporates a lot of hands on training, considering it’s in the medical field it’s a well paying and secure job. But, I do wonder if it’s truly right more me sometimes…

        • neidu3@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
          0·
          11 days ago

          A flexible job is one thing. But a job that requires a flexible person is something else entirely. Kevin is paid quite handsomely for his willingness to pack his gear and fly halfway around the world to do his thing on short notice.

          • grue@lemmy.worldEnglish
            1·
            10 days ago

            I suspect that for every ADHD person like Kevin, there are a dozen struggling because they can’t find the right job (probably not least because the act of job-hunting is itself terrible for people with ADHD).

  • Lad@reddthat.com
    2·
    11 days ago

    I suffer from combined anxiety, agoraphobia, and panic attacks. Going for a walk is a nice and relaxing thing for most people, but for me it’s a battle from start to finish. I can’t be too far from a “safe” place, like my house or my car, or I begin to have panic attacks.

    I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that the outdoors are difficult for me and I have to constantly go against my instincts and force myself outside.