Paukenschlag: USA treten aus der Erde aus!
www.der-postillon.com
Washington (dpo) - Das ist nur konsequent: Nachdem sie sich bereits aus dem Pariser Klimaschutzabkommen und der Weltgesundheitsorganisation zurückgezo
  • samus12345@lemm.eeEnglish
    4·
    2 hours ago

    Can Washington, Oregon, and California stay behind? It will make a land bridge between Canada and Mexico.

  • Optional@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    25·
    6 hours ago

    Washington (dpo) - This is only logical: after they have already withdrawn from the Paris climate agreement and the World Health Organization, the US has now taken the next step: On the order of President Donald Trump, the United States has now withdrawn from the earth with immediate effect. For the first time in its history, the country is no longer part of the planet.

    “We no longer want to be part of a celestial body that does not first and foremost focus on the interests of the US,” Trump said. The affiliation of the United States to Earth has been shamelessly exploited by other countries for centuries, said Trump – a practice that is finally coming to an end among him.

    The US President tweeted:

    By leaving the earth, the US has already been able to solve several political problems. For example, illegal immigration from Latin America has fallen to virtually zero – without a border wall. The question of arms deliveries to Ukraine has also almost self-detached.

    In addition, the country saves a three-digit billion amount by leaving the earthly defence alliance of NATO and the demolition of all trade relations marked by import surpluses.

    It is still unclear where the journey for the once third largest country in the world in terms of area is now taking place. Currently, the USA appears to set course for the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter, where they suspect a larger oil deposit.

    However, Danish security politicians fear that the US could briefly return to the vastness of space before its final disappearance in order to steal Greenland.

  • Alexstarfire@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    5 hours ago

    I’d love to pull a professor Farnsworth.

    Maybe once Amazon starts delivering. My survival skills aren’t great.

  • introvertcatto@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    6·
    6 hours ago

    Dear Donald, you are more than welcome to go to Mercury. Mercurians are toxic and racist either way. Just leave us Plutonians and Earthians in peace. Pwease. 🥺