• gerryflap@feddit.nl
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    27 days ago

    I’ve had a colleague say that tea is “homo water”. I’m aro/ace, but most of my colleagues don’t know that. Similarly a straight colleague of mine got mocked for wearing pink (but not feminine) shoes. After some of these incidents we’ve kinda started pushing back against this nonsense by deliberately triggering these people and calling them out, which has worked so far.

    • slingstone@lemmy.world
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      26 days ago

      Being gay doesn’t mean someone is somehow less masculine, which is the heart of what the “homo water” idiot is implying.

      Was the British Empire, upon which the sun never set, somehow not masculine enough? One could argue it ran on tea. Morally questionable, absolutely, but not manly enough?

      Were the samurai somehow compromised in their masculinity because they drank tea, sometimes in elaborate ceremonies?

      And, apart from tea, were the Sacred Band, the elite warriors who died to a man fighting Alexander the Great’s dad, somehow less manly because they were all gay?

      I bet this colleague of yours also thinks straws are gay in this parlance, as if it’s somehow more manly to put one’s lips on the same glass rims touched by hundreds of others. I guess hygiene is not masculine or heterosexual.

      And the thing is, even my rant here is problematic because it spawns from a lifetime of people equating gay with not being enough of a man, an attitude that infects my own thinking.

      Shit, the most feminine of men is more of a man than these idiots if he stands up for his identity unapologetically.

      • gerryflap@feddit.nl
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        25 days ago

        Yeah this is kinda a point. People like this colleague seem to have gotten stuck in a highschool bully mindset ans never moved on. All of their jokes are about people who are different, their whole status seems to be based on their “masculinity”. In my experience this is the largest portion of homo/transphobes here in the Netherlands. People who aren’t violent or outright hateful, but rather just pushing outdated jokes and viewpoints and then getting annoyed by all the “woke bullshit” when they get called out.

        My tactic so far is to not fully attack back, but rather staying friendly while showing my disappointment with this behaviour unless it goes too far. Most of these people are otherwise decent, and in my opinion may be swayed by someone “woke” who doesn’t go “full crazy sjw” but does call them out. Making a joke about minorities is way easier of you don’t know anyone well from those groups. They’re not crazy Trump voters, so they may still be steered in the right direction

    • Vivendi@lemmy.zip
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      26 days ago

      tea is homo water

      The entire nations of Iran, England, and China would like to know the location of this little bitch

  • Akasazh@lemmy.world
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    25 days ago

    I was born in Victorian Britain and have a very mirthful air about me.

    So one day I was going about my merry business, being my jovial self.

    When I’m walked a creature that saw what I was about, smoked at me and said ‘well aren’t you the gayest person I’ve met all day’.

    I’m not sure how to feel tbh

  • jrubal1462@mander.xyz
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    27 days ago

    Around 2010ish I was thoroughly enjoying some Bells Two Hearted and other IPAs. My brother (2 years older) tried arguing that bud light is man’s beer, and my beers were fruity and girly. It certainly doesn’t matter to me, but the irony of choosing bud light, out of all the macro beers, is just 👨‍🍳😘>

  • BCsven@lemmy.ca
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    26 days ago
    • Wear orange or pink.
    • Eat quiche
    • Like poetry
    • Hang out with girls at recess
    • Wear an earring
    • Owning Laurie Anderson or Philip Glass CDs
    • Entropywins@lemmy.world
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      26 days ago

      Quiche is amazing. Who doesn’t like eggs and ham/bacon? Hanging out with gurls, well yeah nothing straight about that…

    • Iron Lynx@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      Orange? Wait until Dutch football fans hear that. Would make NL during a Euro Cup or World Cup an absolutely ✨ fabulous ✨place xD

  • HatchetHaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    28 days ago

    okay, i’m gay, but this is still relevant.

    my dad (who i haven’t come out to yet) thinks colourful underwear is gay, and those are his remarks to seeing that i’ve packed both red and blue undies while we were on vacation last year.

    like bro they’re just colours.

    • DNOS@lemmy.ml
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      27 days ago

      Haven’t come out to him yet but you were ready to come out to the whole internet ? I don’t want to shame you but man come on grow some balls 😉

      • HatchetHaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        27 days ago

        to be clear, i’ve been out to the rest of my family for a long time, and i am very open about my sexuality (even irl, which takes at least some balls because i’m not in a very lgbt-friendly region). the reason i am not out to my father is that he has always been a traditional “man of the house” person, and i am not driving a wedge in our relationship by letting him know that his ideal bloodline ends with me.

        if you don’t understand the cultural contexts in which i reside, do not assume my intentions or degrade my decisions.

    • Wahots@pawb.social
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      27 days ago

      Seriously. If I was a girl, there’s no way I’d want to fuck someone with a filthy asshole, especially on my sheets. Skidmarks on the sheets and smelling like old shit is gross.

      Wash your ass and groin with soap and water just like you do your armpits and feet.

      My unasked for advice? Keep your butthole hair trimmed or shaved. Makes it much easier to keep clean, and it takes two seconds in the shower.

  • promitheas@programming.dev
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    27 days ago

    Use chapstick

    Read a book in public

    Not go to gym

    Play certain more “feminine” games

    Those off the top of my head. I live in a nation of backwards idiots, so there for sure are more

  • dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de
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    27 days ago

    These are all example from decades ago growing up in the 90’s.

    I was called gay for not liking soccer, like it’s gay to not watch men chase a ball in shorts.

    I was called gay for wearing UGG boots as a dude. Like if we even want to accept gay as an insult, I would argue the person bothered by such things as what shoes one is wearing is more fitting of an insult.

    Fun fact. When I had a house mate who was gay, it was very difficult not to use gay as a word for something that wasn’t fun. Like this show is gay. He didn’t mind, but still wanted to stop.

    • Cyrus Draegur@lemm.ee
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      27 days ago

      I somehow managed to condition myself into thinking of gay as a complement term. People I hung out with in high school used to call things “straight” derogatively. Something was straight if it was boring, bland, predictable, superficially performative in a conformist manner, etc.

    • BatmanAoD@lemmy.world
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      26 days ago

      I read a lot as a child and watched very little TV. So in first grade, I only knew the “traditional” meaning of gay. The first time I remember hearing it in the sense of homosexual was when a classmate told me, in a hushed and gossipy tone, “one of the Teletubbies is gay.” (I did know about the show even if I hadn’t ever watched it.) I didn’t really react, but all I was thinking was, “aren’t they all?”

  • dantheclamman@lemmy.world
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    27 days ago

    I remember kids telling me I was crossing my legs in a gay way. I asked them who said so, and they said their teacher. That was the first time I realized some bullies grow up to be teachers.

  • rez@lemmy.ml
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    26 days ago

    Looking at my fingernails while my fingers were on top of my palm

  • technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    27 days ago

    Wear a kilt?

    TBH I’ve never tried and nobody told me it was gay. But I’m a sweaty person and I would love to air out my crotch except for fear of social criticism.

  • TheOubliette@lemmy.ml
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    27 days ago

    I would recommend that anyone concerned with privacy either use a burner account or not answer these kinds of questions.

    While statistically I’m sure there are many straight men here, doxxing and other forms of identification are enabled by combining different breadcrumbs of information.