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ADHD manifests differently in girls and they’re usually able to mask it more.
I’m not sure to what extent it’s actually manifesting differently or being masked better than institutional bias against the idea of women having ADHD - diagnoses are about 3x more rare for women…
I think it is at least in part due to it manifesting differently. This is slightly different because it pertains to autism, but a while back I read about how one of the theories of why autism seems to be lower prevalence is girls is because the social norms of girls/boys are different. For example, young boys tend to socialise with team sports, which can be highly reliant on non-verbal communication. In contrast, because neurotypical girls are (implicitly and explicitly) taught to take on caring roles, an autistic girl is more likely to be “taken under the wing” of a neurotypical girl, providing more opportunities to develop social skills via social mimicry.
I’m just one autistic woman, but this certainly scanned with my lived experience. As a result of this, I wasn’t diagnosed until my teens, after a full on mental breakdown led to a psych eval.
I agree with you that institutional bias plays a huge role: I had a partner who had ADHD and was diagnosed quite young. When we discussed our experiences of the early years of school, I was struck by how similar our experiences were in terms of our behaviour, but how he was read as being a naughty boy (which is what led to his much earlier diagnosis) whereas my distractibility and fidgeting was seen as either me being unstimulated in class, or anxious. I think I’d have probably been diagnosed way sooner if I were a boy acting as I did.
But what’s really interesting to speculate on is the way that my behaviour and understanding of my self changed over the years, as a result of that institutional bias. I think that there’s a self reinforcing cycle at play, where an institutional bias leads to women and girls with ADHD (and/or autism) developing a particular set of masking skills that makes them further illegible to the systems that dispense diagnoses (which then reinforces said institutional bias).
That being said, I’ve noticed a lot of progress in recent years on this front, especially in the community. My friend is a high school teacher who almost certainly has ADHD but is on the very long waitlist for an actual diagnosis. Despite not having a diagnosis, understanding herself better has helped her to cope better in her life, and through community and solidarity, feels that she is better equipped to understand and support neurodivergent students in her classroom. People like my friend are one of the ways that the reinforcing cycle of institutional bias, even if progress on that front is slow.
If I’ve understood what I’ve read over the years correctly, a large percentage of girls with it get diagnosed bipolar, completely missing the underlying ADHD cause of the depression/anxiety. This can turn into an absolute horrid experience as they get prescribed strong drugs that can really mess you up if you don’t need them, and they most likely don’t.
Same with autism. Learned when my son was diagnosed.
Same here my son got diagnosed with adhd and all the symptoms matched me too… hmm… weird huh.
It can manifest itself in the same way for men but it is usually then never discovered untill maybe much late in life when you have someone with depression and anxiety coming to the doctor’s who may also miss the fact that it could be ADHD
Literally me
Tried a bunch of anxiety meds that didn’t work, tried some antidepressants that didn’t work, got a different doctor and they were like “I think you might have ADHD”.
8 months later got an appointment and talked to the doc for an hour and got a new prescription for ADHD meds, and my life has massively improved since.
NGL I think getting that diagnosis may have been one of the best things to have happened in my life. I just wish I didn’t have to wait I til I was 29 to get it.
I’m really happy for you. Big props to the doc who suggested it as a possibility, and for you for persevering long enough to get the diagnosis — it is unfair that you had to struggle for so long, but I am glad that you are now afforded the opportunity to learn how to work with your brain, rather than against it.
What domain of your life did ADHD meds most help with?
Yeah it was a struggle for sure, especially when I found out from my parents that they didn’t think it was real and that my teachers had told them for years to get me evaluated.
The biggest impact is honestly hard to put my finger on because of the massive impact it’s had on my life overall.
I suddenly found myself with time. I no longer had to get up for work at 8am to make it to work by 1pm and was still barely making it some days.
I’m more consistent about things in almost every aspect of my life. I still have my rotating rogues gallery of hobbies but that keeps them fresh for me.
My PTSD is so much easier to deal with that it’s mind blowing. Though my brain will still serve me up a heaping pile of memories sometimes it’s easier to focus on the task at hand rather than just spiral into a pit.
My relationships have improved. My friends have been able to make plans with me and I’ve been making plans as well and it’s not even that stressful. It was at first because I was so afraid of ruining it but as my confidence grew it quickly paid off.
Shit I even got a promotion at work lol
Honestly it’s gone so well overall that it blows my mind.
I hate it when people say “[person] is ADHD”. A person is not a disease. If someone has cancer, do you say “my aunt is cancer”? Weird and insulting.
From the autistic side of things, a lot of us dislike “has autism” or “person with autism” because it implies there’s a hidden, non-autistic person underneath the autism. Not everyone feels this way of course, but for people that do they may transfer that way of speaking onto other things like ADHD as well.
The whole “person with autism is better because it puts the person first” sounds exactly like the kind of BS that autism can lower patience for, anyways.
Interesting, thanks for sharing a different view on this. I can understand that. For ADHD it’s the same of course, you can’t separate your personality from it. A question like “Would you like to have not had ADHD/autism?” makes no sense, because then we would have been entirely different people.
I’ve never heard someone say “I am autism” or “[person] is autism” though, like people seem to do with ADHD. In the case of autism, what would you use instead of people-first language?
For autism you’d just say someone is autistic/I’m autistic, I think people just say he’s ADHD/I’m ADHD because I’m not sure there’s a comparable way to adjective-ify ADHD like there is with autism/autistic.
In Dutch, we do: we call someone an ADHDer. I’m not opposed to that, I call myself that occasionally. It’s just the “watersnipje is ADHD” phrasing that really rubs me the wrong way, it’s like sand in my teeth every time I read that.
That’s super interesting, thanks for sharing. Sometimes my friends use the phrase “AuDHDer” (autistic person who also has ADHD) or “ADHDer”.
I agree with you about the phrasing in the post being weird. Do you find that it feels different if it’s said by someone who has ADHD, potentially towards other neurodivergent folk? I ask because whilst I don’t think I really use phrasing “I am ADHD”/“She is ADHD”, I do know that the way I speak about neurodivergence is different when I am amongst other people who are neurodivergent.
Hm, I’m not sure. Lots of people have ADHD, so it’s not that often. I’m not “out” as having ADHD at work, and I think there, I’m more inclined to say “person with ADHD” than “ADHDer”.
If parents are declaring one child as diagnosed but not another it’s because they went to health professionals and respected their diagnoses. Your attitude is gross, toxic, and harmful.
That’s a lot of assumptions there bud
That’s my point. Assuming a diagnosis of mental conditions based on casual social observations is a super fucked up thing to do.
It’s not “super fucked up”. Suspecting it based on behaviors is the first step to diagnosis, what are you smoking
