No no no no NO!
This is some guilt-tripping, gaslighting, deflecting DARVO bullshit, and I won’t have it.
Bigots do not become bigots because of their exposure to “others”. When those of us who are “others” [refuse to tolerate the intolerance of others] (out of principle or justifiable self-defense) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance), their frustration and their lashing-out as a result is not our fault. Nobody can be held responsible for another individual’s lack of emotional self-control.
When people act out with violence, motivated by hate, fear, and ignorance, they are to blame— never the victims.
Someone being at fault for something, and someone unintentionally influencing another, are two separate things.
Family members going down toxic rabbit holes as a response to someone close to them coming out, is just that - a response to someone close to them coming out. It is quite literally cause and effect.
That doesn’t mean that the family member’s bigotry is the person’s problem though, nor should they feel any sense of blame whatsoever.
I’m not talking about causing effect. What I’m saying is that one family members decision to embrace hatred and bigotry is not the fault or the responsibility of the family member who came out of the closet. The family member who decided and made the choice to become a hateful bigot did so of their own accord, and the family member who bravely chose to live as their own self is not to blame for that.
One thing may have led to the other, but that does not mean that one thing inherits responsibility or blame for the other.
t’s not so simple as an assumed reaction as you imply: it’s not one object striking another, transferring energy, and causing the next object to move. This other family member chooses hate and bigotry and then to act on those ideologies and feelings. That is not the same as the simple thing you reference.
What I’m saying is that one family members decision to embrace hatred and bigotry is not the fault or the responsibility of the family member who came out of the closet
Like I said, I completely agree with this. And,
The family member who decided and made the choice to become a hateful bigot did so of their own accord
while true, that chain of events was started when they, bravely, came out. It’s not their problem, nor should they feel any guilt whatsoever, as there’s nothing that they did wrong. But the fact is that the toxic path the family member went down only happened because of that coming out. Literally just cause and effect, it’s factually what happened.
That’s why I say that there’s a difference between someone being at fault for something, and someone unintentionally influencing another. The article simply states that she saw his radicalism start when she came out. Not that her coming out was somehow wrong. She’s literally just stating her truth. Her coming out started him on this path. And, that’s not her fault.
I would argue it isn’t direct cause and effect as most likely that member has always harbored those feelings but being confronted with their beliefs is the catalyst that makes them veer into openly bigoted territory.
I think what OP is trying to say is that by claiming LGBTQ+ people coming out is the cause of people’s bigotry it will only make them less likely to come out but wouldn’t actually reduce the number of bigots in the world. (I know that’s probably not the argument you were trying to make, but it’s what it sounded like from the outside)
That’s entirely possible, but more than once I’ve seen genuinely great, kind-hearted people get sucked down toxic rabbit holes. Extremely liberal, open people getting slowly warped over time.
Hell, most of the time they don’t even realize it’s happening. I used the example in another comment, but it’s like someone indoctrinated into a cult. They didn’t exit the womb a cultist, this wasn’t always who they were. This happened to them at some point.
But the fact is that the toxic path the family member went down only happened because of that coming out. Literally just cause and effect, it’s factually what happened.
“The husband wouldn’t have beaten his wife if she didn’t burn dinner.”
Saying that the husband wouldn’t have beaten her if they hadn’t gotten married is a fact tho.
That doesn’t make it her fault for marrying him, she’s not responsible for his abuse. But the fact that it’s happening due to previous events is simply how the world works.
I was making a point about violence, not a fucking wedding.
So you were making a point that had zero to do with my comment?
My comment was about how events inherently lead to other events. But that it doesn’t mean that anyone is to blame.
I can’t tell if you’re purposefully being obtuse or genuinely don’t understand what my comment was saying, or what my reply to yours implied.
I’m confused. I don’t see any victim blaming in the article. Most of the article is lending a voice to trans/NB people to tell how hard it is, when someone in their family is bigoted and anti trans to begin with and how they, instead of trying to understand, doubled down on their hatred and bigotry and became nasty after they came out.
People do not become right wing bigots, because they have a trans child or cousin. But for some its hard to confront their own bigotry when suddenly the thing they “fear” is in their own backyard. So they react the opposite and burrow down deeper in right wing hatred.
Can we not acknowledge that this is an effect often hapening in right wing families when a family member comes out? That doesnt mean the coming out is at fault. Its bigots doubling down on their bigotry, because they can not, like normal people, reflect on their stance and admit, that maybe they were wrong.
Vivian was victimized by her father’s heartless disregard and rejection of her identity. Elon is now going around stating a narrative that her coming out to him is at least a significant contributing reason he is a fascist (“I lost my son to the woke mind virus”), a narrative that this headline plays directly into. You can take the same sequence of facts and headline it as “Musk is going public with the same bigotry that he wielded against his transgender daughter. A lot of trans people have family members like him” that doesn’t make it sound like Elon Musk would have been politely building his rockets and evs in a corner if only his daughter hadn’t come out as trans, and doesn’t make it sound like Vivian indirectly donated 10s of millions of dollars to Trump’s 2024 campaign by coming out as someone that that exact campaign wants to suppress. The headline as written is almost a threat to closeted trans people. “Yeah, your parents may be Schrodinger’s bigots right now, but come out and they will go full scorched earth to dehumanize you and you will be responsible for their shift”.
I’m pretty sure you are agreeing that that isn’t the case, and it wouldn’t surprise me if the text of the article is also aligned against that message, but the headline (probably written by an editor hungry for rage clicks) is solidly aligned to it, and should be called out for that
This is what her hot air balloon of a excuse for a farher said, not the article. Be angry and speak out against Elon Musks bigotry. Not about what you “think” an article you actually didn’t read might have said because of your interpretation of a headline.
We all should know by now that this click bait shit is all hot air most of the time, so why play into it?
I feel like a lot of people here still have to learn how to deal with todays sensationalist internet media. Don’t believe everything you (didn’t) read at first glance.
If you consume todays “news” only by headlines, without looking behind it and using your own common sense and critical thinking, you are bound to come out with a very distorted world view.
The headline is written as a factual statement, not a quoted opinion. It therefore endorses the idea that Musk’s daughter turned him into a fascist. Everyone knows most people stop reading after the headline, so a headline that only stops being misleading when you read the article is just misleading.
No she didn’t.
Elon Musk is what he always was. He wants you to scapegoat his daughter because that’s easy for him. He’s a piece of shit entirely on his own, don’t blame her for his vile nature.
This article does a poor job of discussing Elon (but that’s not really the point of the article). Vivian has talked about how she felt Elon became more radical as she transitioned. That not blaming her, it’s listening to what she has to say
Oh your description is fitting but the headline is… Well I perceive it as poisonous, especially with the knowledge that headlines are often the only thing being read.
Classic TERF island headline. “Trans people turn billionaires into conservatives.” 🙄
His daughter did not influence him. That makes it sounds like the daughter was the cause of him shifting right.
Musk reacted to the fact that his daughter was trans. His reaction was taking off his mask and being the piece of shit he already was more openly.
Edit: Not sure why I didn’t think to include it at the time, but the healine has a real “Husband beat wife because she burnt dinner.” vibe to it.
F*** this article. Don’t even read the article. The title says it all.
My summary: “Blame the victim. Blame the trans person for their family member acting a fool. It only got bad after the trans person came out. It’s all the trans person’s fault.”
To hell with that.
Exactly my thoughts. Straight up blaming the victim, who was a child at the time of Musk going public with the right wing views he’s had for decades.
A child he barely had a relationship with. In her NBC interview, she said that, despite having equal custody, she was with her mother 90% of the time and some of the time with her father was for PR for his companies.
He also tried to get her to be masculine and insulted her for being queer even before she came out.
This is utter bullshit.
The guy’s a complete clown and I find it funny how conservatives who never stfu about single black mothers give guys like Musk a complete pass, despite the guy having something insane like 11 kids and being such a blatantly obviously absentee father, clearly because he cares more about the pursuit of money and clout than caring for his kids.
Elon Musk’s transgender daughter brought his far-right bigotry to light. A lot of trans people have family members like him.
FTFY
Yeah don’t blame Elon’s stupidity on her!
I know from some experience that parents eventually make peace with their children for cultural differences like these, at least some of them do
Elon Musk doesn’t give a shit about his kids, he’s just a weirdo with a breeding fetish.
Like his dad
