- cross-posted to:
- atheism@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- atheism@lemmy.world
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Moses : The Lord, the Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen…
[drops one of the tablets]
Moses : Oy! Ten! Ten commandments for all to obey
What’s funny is that (according to the old testament) when Moses came down off the mountain with the tablets and found everyone worshipping the golden calf, he had a big hissy fit and smashed them. So then after doing quite a bit of murdering he had to go back up the mountain to get a second set. Exodus 32-34
I asked a religious relative how it was ok for Moses to murder people when he had only just be told by God himself “thou shalt not kill”, and she said it was because the don’t kill thing came further down the list than having only the one god.
Asimov’s Ten Laws of Holy Robotics
The bible seems to consider it murder only if it’s another christian.
[if someone] has gone and served other gods and worshiped them, […] you shall stone that man or woman to death with stones.
-Deuteronomy 17:2-5
If your brother, the son of your mother, or your son or your daughter or the wife you embrace or your friend who is as your own soul entices you secretly, saying, ‘Let us go and serve other gods,’ […] you shall kill him. Your hand shall be first against him to put him to death.
-Deuteronomy 13:6-10
we don’t know if the “don’t murder” thing was on the original list.
Hmb while I go kill someone for not keeping the holy sabbath day and honoring their father and mother cuz god recommended it.
I love this because what if actually? What if there’s literally a buzzfeed tier list of five things to do we’re missing for a utopian society? And mankind fucked it like we always do.
God gave plenty more laws in the next few books of the Bible. The famous commandments about not mixing fabrics or cutting your hair? Yeah Moses of the Ten Commandments is behind that book too.
You want the Council of Nicea where a pagan edited the Bible by decapitating people expressing ideas he didn’t want in it.
Thats assuming you’re saying religion would have brought us utopia.
For the sake of this wild fantasy, yeah. I’m not gonna be too picky
Who’s to say commandment #11 wasn’t “lmao jk ok but for real just these four things:”
I mean originally there were 15.
… 10 commandments
My favorite joke from that movie.
I can’t remember if it’s the same movie, but the scene where Moses gets mugged is also a highlight for me.
I very quickly checked wikipedia, because I couldn’t easily identify the extra one. It lists all 16 of the 10 commandments… The table looks like different branches of christianity bundle some of them together (mostly various coveting) or don’t even consider the first and last a commandment, so they always only count to ten. So it’s an easy mistake to make.
But the fact that they couldn’t even count the paragraphs is riddiculous.
Seems like the sort of thing people should know about a central tenet of a pillar of their identity…
But then they’d have to stop eating shrimp, so…
More importantly, they’d have to stop the most sacred of Christian traditions: throwing a pigskin around while assaulting each other.
They broke the 10th commandment into two commandments. There should have been a semicolon after 10a, not a new line.
(10a) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house.
(10b) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his cattle, nor anything that is thy neighbor’s."
10(Revised): Don’t covet thy neighbors’ shit.
10.0.2 fixed coveting of cattle to match other items in coveting domain
10.0.2.1 fixed coveting to close loophole inv. neighbors’ wives, daughters, and all other livestock
(for clarity: “holy” books are largely penned by bigoted pedos. full stop.)
but its okay to covet shit if they’re not a neighbor, right?
My understanding is “neighbor” is mostly a mistranslation. It’s really referring to people within your tribe. Don’t fuck with people who are in your group basically, in order to keep the peace. Outsiders are fair game.
twist: It’s neighbors all the way down.
Further revisions: Don’t like things that aren’t me.
Louisiana: basic literacy is not their strong suit.
basic literacy is not their strong suite.
Oof.
Woops. At least I didn’t confuse Iraq with Ukraine…this time.
…that you George?
On the internet, nobody knows you’re the 43rd president, just trying to put food on your family.
suit but agreed. Edumacation was never one of the original thirteen commandiments.
Ha! Corrected. Thanks.
This is my favorite bulkshit word lol. Ain’t nobody axxed but they it is
*numeracy is the word you’re looking for.
you’re not wrong though, literacy is also not their strong suit :)
In Louisiana, they think numeracy is what gets you run outta town or burned alive, and they’re not entirely wrong there either, historically speaking.
No, numeracy is when you draw cards to see the future.
How dare you. We read real good in Goatfuck Holler!
That comma could have been anything else and it would been a valid sentence.
Well, that’s what I get for punching down on our gumbo-eating friends.
I mean aren’t numbers invented by Arabics anyway? What’s the point at ending with 9 and 10 when they could go full 9 and 11? /s
- Thou shalt not math.
PS: this is what happens when the commitee watches Spinal Tap too many times.
there’s a base n joke somewhere in there
That means something totally different in Louisiana than you intended…
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
If you say base “10”, what does that mean? You’d have to know the base that “10” was meant to be in. It could be binary, octal, decimal, hexadecimal, any number. It does not even need to be a natural number, you can use negative numbers, fractional numbers, negative fractional numbers, irrational numbers, even complex numbers as a base.
Base 10 does mean nothing and everything.
A bunch of religious nuts “find” a country and make up new rules. Now, people that can’t count to 10 use those documents to make crazy religious rules. Am I understanding this correctly?
What do you mean “Thall shalt not horn in on thy husband’s racket” isn’t a commandment?
Also: “Thou shalt not take… moochers into thy… hut.”
Home many of these commandments their lord messiah Trump violates on hourly basis?
Oh, it’s ok. Christians have never read the bible. They just make it up individually.
I see that Louisiana is run by Clay Puppington… How many “lost commandments” are they going to include?
I believe the last two listed (‘Thou shalt not covet…’) are considered to be the same commandment, although they appear as two separate verses in the Bible.
It varies, actually. See the numbering section on Wikipedia for a breakdown of how different traditions have broken down the list into ten items.
How the fuck is this not illegal?
That’s fucking classic
