I also said “list of mistresses of legal age,” not “list of mistresses.”

They’re a Lemmy original!

I’ll admit this one was unfair today, but I write when I think of them.

Trump would totally call a serious-sounding press conference and do a timeshare presentation.

This isn’t the onion, this is Folgers Crystals a Lemmy original by me.

I did, although I feel some of it was over the top. Only 100k for a pardon? That’s ridiculous.

Or maybe DeWalt batteries, we’ll just have to see what arrives.

I feel this highlights the hypocrisy. Only the court jester dares tell the truth.

Also at least they get paid at the onion, I do this for fun.

Sadly we are all considering whether we should leave-o the United States-o

Oh you will love my follow up article.

But not for a camper, sadly.

I had a few ideas to push it into the absurd territory, but I felt playing it straight was the best course of action here.

I’m not your Onion, Pal!

I salute you for accepting the world is pretty messed up. Also I kept Leo Sturbgetter out of it.

I’d like to thank the current administration for so many choice writing prompts.

One isn’t the game name, it’s the yelp review.

Well we’re out of cake, we didn’t expect such a rush!

But by harnessing disco ball technology, we can make this a multidirectional field defense.

Research continues in using the rapid drop of tesla stock to carry a payload to damage targets.

Sometime he doesn’t… sometimes he… he doesn’t always wander. No he doesn’t… he doesn’t always. He like to wander, wander around, finding stuff… wandering. It was wandering that made america great, people.