Edit: My own solution: when it happens, get off the computer and pet the dog.
So let’s say I make a point on a post. I put forward my argument and I support it with evidence.
Now let’s say the first comment is from someone who disagrees with me, but seems to fundamentally misunderstand what I am saying, probably because they read the title of the post and immediately posted the first thing that came to mind.
But my fear, acquired from Reddit, is that people are going to read this guy’s totally inaccurate presentation of my argument and then every comment in the rest of the discussion will proceed as if that’s what I said.
And since, as we all know, fear leads to hate, my first instinct is just to berate this person for being a stupid moron.
This is a bad strategy. Not only is probably against Lemmy rules, it automatically makes me the bad guy.
So: question: how do I handle this person without tediously restating my position again, which is extremely irritating because I already wrote it once and they didn’t read it the first time. What I want is to say something that quickly quarantines the misreading comment in people’s minds so the misreading doesn’t infect the entire thread.
Make one clarifying point comment and then move on.
An example of how to do it:
You: EVs are better for the environment
Comment: Why are you saying that China should rule the world?
You: I’m saying that EV’s are better for the environment no matter who makes them. Last comment.
An example on how not to do it:
You: EVs are better for the environment
Comment: Why are you saying that China should rule the world?
You: I never said that you asshole. Why are you sticking up for China, you fucking tankie. You’re a troll piece of shit, etc., etc.,
Comment: You said China is amazing, you obviously want to go down on them
You: Why are you saying this shit? Etc., etc., etc. blah, blah, blah
I can see the scars, friend. Thank you for your service.
Lol, I should have prefaced with Reddit survivor.
Honestly, I have PTSD from that site. Things are better here, but sometimes my flashbacks get triggered.
It took awhile to get rid of that for me too. I can spot the trolls pretty easily here though, there are about 10 accounts maybe? I sometimes fall for the trap, but it’s getting rarer and rarer. I have found their patterns, but sometimes it takes me a few comments to see that it’s bad faith.
I think Lemmy/Piefed is so much less addicting, that it doesn’t really matter as much. I guess because the anger is the part that’s addicting and I never realized I was in it until I got away. It’s really strange though, I just quit cold turkey. Which is great, but strange. I’m so glad I did.
Move on with your life who gives a fuck
BUT SOMEONE IS WRONG ON THE INTERNET!!!
:)
Youre missing the point
obtuse means round not pointy silly
well thats an interesting angle to take
Not giving a fuck is an acquired skill for some
Realize that what they say about whatever % of people being functionally illiterate is true.
my fear, acquired from Reddit, is that people are going to read this guy’s totally inaccurate presentation of my argument and then every comment in the rest of the discussion will proceed as if that’s what I said.
If you really feel the need to, just say “that’s not what I meant, please re-read it. I think it was clear enough that I’m not going to repeat it”. But I doubt the fear that others will agree with him is too real.
My rule to live by: never engage with comments online. I’ll post a comment, but >99% of the time there is no reason to reply. I’ve said what I wanted. There’s hardly anything to gain from trying to change anyone else’s mind or elaborating further. Someone has to make it abundantly clear that they are responding in good faith to warrant a response. My life has been much better since I started doing this and I would strongly recommend everyone try it out.
Block them, don’t feed the trolls.
In PF one can also add a note to their acct.
This is useful when a person seems pretty reasonable overall, but has some hangup upon particular issues. Actually it’s incredibly common IMO, starting with myself. 😅
Down vote and don’t engage
I try to give them one chance. Sometimes I get pulled in deeper if I’ve got nothing better to do. But on the whole, respond with curiosity first. Then determine of they are worth your time. If not, ignore them and move on, interacting with those more worth your while while eye rolling the idiots.
Guess the best way is to not care much about what others think of you. Then, eventually, down votes and bad arguments made by morons really just don’t even bother you. Engage with better people, ignore the rest and chuck a down vote.
There’s no helping some people. You might be talking about X, but they really hate Y. So they just ignore/disregard what you were trying to say, and just make it about Y.
If you must engage at all, and I recommend you don’t, mockery works for me.
mOcKeRy wOrKs fOr mE
(just teasing) :)
For a certain definition of ‘works’. It’s more about cultivating an attitude of detached amusement about things that don’t matter.
Oh, I agreed completely. I just couldn’t resist being a silly bugger with a reply. “Call of the void” strikes me a LOT on silly replies like that :)
Not arguing. I approve being a silly bugger.
<3
It’s online, people are going to deliberately misinterpret your posts.
Step 1. Remember the points don’t matter
Step 2. Remember it doesn’t matter if these people agree with you.
Step 3: Why should we even care if they mistook what we were saying
Step 4. If they agree feel ever so warm inside and justified in thinking what you thought… (Ignore all previous steps)
If you ask me, unserious people like that deserve no response at all.
Lemmy is becoming self aware
You don’t. Accept you are wrong and move on.
You aren’t going to be correct in every situation even with what you think is supporting evidence.
Edit: maybe don’t insult them either.
