You don’t have trap me in a fantasy liminal space, reality is my backrooms. Okay that was cheesy but you know what I mean. Yes, I know I’m doing the “Omg this is just like fictional thing!!!” Haha funny meme. But I have to say the reality under capitalism (especially as a neurodivergent person) feels like an uncanny horror dimension to me. Where I’m surrounded by surreal AI advertising, ugly missmatched unplanned cities, gardens and lawns that have been shaped to mimic nature but don’t quite resemble it, people going through their fake motions living their fake lives that they insist I take part in, stay in character until I get the same stockholm syndrome they have and start to like it here.
Reality? Reality is our personal horror dimension that I’ve been trapped in all my life and you won’t let me leave no matter how much I insist that none of this capitalist nightmare is healthy. Oof, once again I sound like a cheesy “this is society” meme but I have no other way to verbalising it outside of sounding like a jaded teen.
Anyway, internet horror movie was good even though I’m not usually a horror fan and found it a little “This is totally deep because psychology is involved and mentally ill people can’t be saved from themselves” vibes. The actual liminal spaces and still lifes were cool as fuck. Reminded me of SCP.
Man, just living with schizophrenia is horrific enough. Not from discrimination, not a lot of people know or can tell with me. (So far) But like, my brain creates the horror dimension and overlays it on top of the Actually Existing Horror Dimension, and it gets to be a bit much. Am I paranoid, or is there a government agency using AI to sift through my online traffic? Am I paranoid or are there cameras watching me literally everywhere? When those get proven true, then the other delusions start looking that much more plausible. Maybe I really did die and go to hell.
Sorry if I hijacked. But you’re so right, we don’t need additional horror when we’ve got this capitalist horrorscape.
You didn’t hijack at all, thats totally on topic.
I’m not schizophrenic, but I did have get a bout of mania and depressive psychosis from a poor reaction from SNRIs once and that was terrifying enough so I can’t imagine how scary it must be to go through what you described.
Yeah. I’m schizoaffective bipolar type so I get the manic and depressive episodes too. It’s certainly scary, sorry you had to go through that; I wouldn’t wish psychosis on my worst enemies. (Except maybe RFK Jr on his path to put medicated ND people into forced labor…)