Republican Sen. Mitch McConnell of Kentucky on Sunday announced, after weeks of speculation, that he had a fall last month that landed him in the hospital.
Unfortunately, due to the latest round of budget cuts in Hell, the processing station at the Gates was unable to accommodate the Senator. A hold up with Ann Widdecombe, and Lindsay Graham slipping under the little rope thingy to corral the waiting sinners, meant there was no more capacity at this time.
A spokesperson for Hell apologised for the holdup: “We’re very sorry for the delay, and a system upgrade is in progress - more weights are being cast from the regrets of the damned, so our scales can process more of the notable members of government as they slide down towards the icy maw of our dark master. We’re committed to ensuring the Senator is able to experience the full breadth of what Hell can offer.”
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