I think it’s highly dependent on individual situations. Both monogamy and polyamory can be peaceful and delightful, or awful drama filled trainwrecks. I would argue that it is easier to have bad drama with polyamory simply because there are more variables and people involved, but it’s not inherently more dramatic.
I find it freeing to not have to worry about my partners “cheating” or getting involved with other people. They found someone new? Good. They’re probably a cutie who I’ll get along with, even if we never get close with each other. Whether or not my partners love me or if we’re as close as I want is a whole separate matter from how much they love other people. There is still plenty that can go wrong in the relationship, but other people won’t be the issue.
You lost me on the first sentence. I mean, I understand what you are saying but (as a married person) I can’t relate at all. Even at the beginning of our relationship, if my partner decided to leave me it would suck but I never really thought or worried about it. If there was a problem, we talked about it and tried to solve it in a way that worked for both of us.
Cheating et al, how often does it happen? Was it something you worried about before you were poly (if there was a before and if you don’t mind me asking, I don’t want to be rude)?
I think it’s highly dependent on individual situations. Both monogamy and polyamory can be peaceful and delightful, or awful drama filled trainwrecks. I would argue that it is easier to have bad drama with polyamory simply because there are more variables and people involved, but it’s not inherently more dramatic.
That’s why we have kitchen table poly. If everyone’s partners can’t sit at a kitchen table together, they won’t be a partner.
Plenty of people involved in monogamy too, you’re just not fucking all of them. Or you are fucking all of them.
I find it freeing to not have to worry about my partners “cheating” or getting involved with other people. They found someone new? Good. They’re probably a cutie who I’ll get along with, even if we never get close with each other. Whether or not my partners love me or if we’re as close as I want is a whole separate matter from how much they love other people. There is still plenty that can go wrong in the relationship, but other people won’t be the issue.
this person gets it
the only downside is that once you figure that out most romcoms stop making any sense
Exactly. The expectation of exclusive love creates like half of the drama and jealousy
You lost me on the first sentence. I mean, I understand what you are saying but (as a married person) I can’t relate at all. Even at the beginning of our relationship, if my partner decided to leave me it would suck but I never really thought or worried about it. If there was a problem, we talked about it and tried to solve it in a way that worked for both of us.
Cheating et al, how often does it happen? Was it something you worried about before you were poly (if there was a before and if you don’t mind me asking, I don’t want to be rude)?
It’s not cheating if you were never coerced into making some bargain of ownership like a traditional religious marriage does.