All the /tttt/ adjacent subs rn are like crack to me if crack instead didnt make me feel good at all and just taught me new words to insult myself and others with
But i cant stop browsing them
All the /tttt/ adjacent subs rn are like crack to me if crack instead didnt make me feel good at all and just taught me new words to insult myself and others with
But i cant stop browsing them
Yes, I spent a couple years on tttt largely as an outlet for transition-related misery. Fortunately, not much anymore. I wish I had some good advice for dropping the habit, but I think that I just ended up leaving those spaces because life got in the way of me checking them for a month or so, and when I returned there was a lot less novelty to it.
I think that, in my experience, those sites have power because they lack a pretense of courtesy, and therefore provide a rare space that feels more conducive to unvarnished misery and hard truths. Do you relate to that motivation? Do you have someone in your life who you feel that you can express those sorts of feelings to?
I get there’s a need to openly vent things that your average tenderqueer space will censor, restrict to an opt-in channel or outright ban you for. I’ve been in spaces that enforce toxic positivity, i left them for a reason. These places can function like cults.
The thing is, the cult aspect is even worse in the trans negative self hater spaces and the “hard truths” that get pushed there mostly aren’t hard truths. When i tell people that hang out in such spaces that i’ve literally met cis people less transphobic than them, which is true, and hard to accept for a lot of trans folks, i do not get celebrated for telling a hard truth, i get added to the block list. Funny how that works.
Building communities that are emotionally honest and allow for articulating pain, despair and suffering but do not actively encourage this are not easy to build, but they are what trans people, particularly transfeminine people, need as a survival network. I’ve also found that this does not work as a public community, we need to build these groups on our own, for each other, with people we vibe with. This is why learning ways to set up and run your own online spaces is such an important skill. When you want to build a trans mutual aid group, it comes right after estrogen cook.
The last time i opened up about questioning my gender identity/presentation my partner had a 2 week long Borderline Induced panic attack
Bruh wtf that sucks so bad. Like, I don’t wanna blame ur partner for something they might not be able to control, but at the same time, having that pressure looming over opening up about how you’re feeling sounds incredibly bad.
Do you have any friends or other close confidants you can explore your feelings with?