Thank you for the support, for the record. Figures he was a gay guy - I’ve seen this sort of behavior from supposed ally gay men way too many times.
I think being gay and subject to homophobia makes a lot of them forget that they are still capable of being misogynistic and acting in a patriarchal manner, and especially still capable of being transmisogynistic, to put it politely.
Tbh it suddenly made the whole conversation make a lot more sense. I wondered why someone who’s not even trans would feel entitled to be such an authority in an incredibly rude way, but this also checks out with experiences I’ve had with gay men talking over me as well.
I’ve seen this sort of behavior from supposed ally gay men way too many times.
cis gay men are like a half-step away from being straight, as far as societal acceptance goes, but they often act like they’re still a strongly oppressed minority. it’s really disheartening to see some of them playing oppression olympics with other queer people instead of going to bat for us with the straights.
Yeah, it’s really fucking annoying and yet typical. I’ve never really known gay men to act in any other way, honestly.
Might just be because of my age/time spent in the queer community - I would suspect that in many ways younger gay men who have grown up with much much more social acceptance may actually be WORSE about this then ones who are even 10~ years older.
That said from what I’ve read gay men have never treated trans women particularly well, as a trend. Unexamined misogyny and in particular transmisogyny seems to have been an issue even in the worst stages of homophobic oppression. Lesbians have always been much better about that stuff, despite the cultural prominence of TERF lesbians.
Either way, he is being an asshole and talking down to a trans person. That is the part of my comment that matters more to me.
Thank you for the support, for the record. Figures he was a gay guy - I’ve seen this sort of behavior from supposed ally gay men way too many times.
I think being gay and subject to homophobia makes a lot of them forget that they are still capable of being misogynistic and acting in a patriarchal manner, and especially still capable of being transmisogynistic, to put it politely.
Tbh it suddenly made the whole conversation make a lot more sense. I wondered why someone who’s not even trans would feel entitled to be such an authority in an incredibly rude way, but this also checks out with experiences I’ve had with gay men talking over me as well.
I wasn’t about to watch you deal with shit alone
The amount of times I’ve had a gay man pull out that condescending ‘we’ when discussing specifically transfem issues is FAR too many, yeah.
Thank you very much!!!
cis gay men are like a half-step away from being straight, as far as societal acceptance goes, but they often act like they’re still a strongly oppressed minority. it’s really disheartening to see some of them playing oppression olympics with other queer people instead of going to bat for us with the straights.
Yeah, it’s really fucking annoying and yet typical. I’ve never really known gay men to act in any other way, honestly.
Might just be because of my age/time spent in the queer community - I would suspect that in many ways younger gay men who have grown up with much much more social acceptance may actually be WORSE about this then ones who are even 10~ years older.
That said from what I’ve read gay men have never treated trans women particularly well, as a trend. Unexamined misogyny and in particular transmisogyny seems to have been an issue even in the worst stages of homophobic oppression. Lesbians have always been much better about that stuff, despite the cultural prominence of TERF lesbians.