Not sure where this goes, so if I need to move it or remove it altogether, just let me know.

I feel ashamed of pretty much everything about me, and I’m tired of it. I want to be an out-and-proud trans lady lesbian, but I live not only with my reactionary anti-trans family, but also in a much more reactionary, more anti-trans community. I’m afraid if I try to be too trans, I’ll end up kicked out and alone, and I can’t fully care for myself, so that’s not exactly an option for me. So I just stay in the closet, dreaming of escaping it. I also have schizophrenia, which of course is nothing to be ashamed of, but I feel like I always have to stay quiet about it because so many people in real life still think of it as the “go crazy and murder everybody” condition. Why can’t I just be unashamedly me? I know this is not an uncommon feeling, I just needed to vent it out.