Well thats it shows over its official. Im publicly out at this point. Finally told therapist, dressing girlmode most times leaving the house (even if its stealth girl) and have a gender pathways appt in 1 month from now (which i have confirmed now that ill WALK OUT WITH HRT😍😍😍)

It feels great! But im still scared of the rest of what comes. I wont lie, seeing the hate and outright violence against trans people right now makes me wanna go back into the closet and lock the door forever. But im trying my best to be brave.

But most of the important people to me know now. My daughter is the last one i need to talk with.

My therapists reaction “honestly a lot of stuff youve talked about makes alot more sense now” 😨 like gee thanks? I guess its good you were paying attention this whole time lol.

She also changed my gender in my chart, asked if i wanted my name changed but i told her no im not ready for that yet.

But it went well, and heres hoping the future is bright for all of us ❤️❤️

Im still scared But ill get through this Ill be strong

Hello Brooke, good bye Zakk(🤢🤮)

❤️❤️❤️

  • printf("%s", name);@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    0·
    12 days ago

    Hi Brook! Thank you for sharing! And congratulations on the confirmed HRT! 🩵 I’m so anxious, because I’m having a phonecall with my family doctor this Thursday and she is supposed to decide whether or not to send me to a gender identity clinic to determine whether I have dysphoria or not. I feel quite ready to cast off everything that is societally, culturally and biologically considered male thank you… 🥺 what if my family doctor says “no” for whatever reason. 😭 I’ll get a second opinion, of course, but the anxiety…!!! 🤣 aaaaaah I’m sorry. I just needed to vent and for now this is the only place. Which is to say, we’ll MAKE the future bright! Together! 💪🩵🩷🤍

    • brookedSmile@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      0·
      12 days ago

      Oh i was anxious all the way to telling her, and even after. I dont think the fear and anxiety ever stops honestly at this point. Its all about taming that fear and anxiety, and sending that shit regardless.

      Im so happy i just have to walk in, tell them “hrt need, give now” and thats it ill have it. Being in oregon and an adult ig has its perks lol

      I think her saying stuff makes more sense now relieves me in a way? Like, if SHE sees it too then im not faking it right??

    • AzuraTheSpellkissed@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      0·
      12 days ago

      Honestly, it’s quite a struggle to come to terms with it yourself. I can’t even imagine a professional telling me that I’m not, unless they are a terf and don’t want to be taken serious.

      i went to my family physician completely unprepared, stuttered that I dissociate with my agab and he just looked at me confused and printed the required papers to forward me to a therapist. It’s not their job to determine if you are trans, it’s their job to forward you somewhere more specialized to make the call (decision).

      You can do it, girl! 💪