consent doesn’t just mean “yes”… consent means informed consent… consent means non-coerced consent

my state in australia has recently implemented some fantastic new laws around consent, and have done a really good job of defining some very grey areas

https://www.respectvictoria.vic.gov.au/news/affirmative-consent

specifically the section about when someone can not consent is relevant here. it covers things like coercion, feeling like you can’t withdraw consent, abuse of authority (ie covers workplace sexual harassment), age, asleep/unconscious (regardless of previous consent), AND most importantly:

Despite what a person might like to hear, they haven’t received affirmative consent if:

…

• their partner cannot consent – including because of:
  • … being mistaken about the identity of any other person involved

and in case you think that’s too restrictive, the laws have widely been praised by the BDSM and kink communities - places where non-verbal consent is common… they cover a lot of ways people might consent, and also withdraw consent

the issue with identity is that she would not have consented if she knew all the details - facts which the man kept from her, knowing that if she knew she would likely not consent

and that’s key: to consent, you have to have all the information available at the time

You cant consent during deception. If your gf has aids and doesnt tell you, then you didnt consent. That is both the legal and culutral definition of rape.