The online incel community has taken a break from blaming women for their ongoing failures in life to issue a collective tantrum over Netflix’s new drama Adolescence, which dares—dares, mind you—to portray incel culture as the toxic, rage-filled echo chamber it so demonstrably is.
Incel is such an oddly self reinforcing thing. As I recall it the term started as a self identification (I can’t get laid, there for am an involuntary-celibate), which ended up with these self ID people declaring someone else is at fault for their situation, then that attitude got so pervasive it became a given term (you can’t get laid BECAUSE you’re an incel).
Morphing of language and all, similar happened with ‘woke’. Either way, if these folks could comprehend a simple fact that the one person you can demand change of is yourself then maybe they could get out of that cycle.
It is a sad story:
When Alana started a website for lonely people struggling to find love, she had no idea it would become linked to a community of hate and anger directed at women, which would ultimately lead to the deaths of several innocent people in her home city.
I first heard of it with the 4chan R9K board, but I guess it goes back even further than that. I suppose it’s quite possible that by the time 4chan got a hold of the term that was at least the beginning of it becoming poisoned, or it may have already been taken over by that point.
it wasnt even hidden it happened real time on the front page of reddit everyone once ina while ppl would crusade their sub and youd watch their opinions morph, they like banned woman and said femcels arent real the first time I saw it I think
Not the onion. Check any of the forums on reddit, like r/mensrights, and they’re furious indeed.
I had to explain to someone what the manosphere is, as a result of watching this show together. She had no idea that men were getting radicalized like this.
Imagine if the “manosphere” actually did things like raising awareness for testicular and prostate cancer, teaching men how to be good dads/husbands/sons, how to be financially sensible, how to build a career, etc. instead of blaming all their problems and all the world’s problems on women and feminists lmao
The current manosphere is basically a pipeline to the alt-right and additional radicalization. The distance between incel to proud boys is quite small.
The problem is that any attempt to make a pro-men group with any of the positive agendas you list will attract the same people as an audience that are already in the manosphere. And then you have the Nazi bar problem.
Yes, theres a massive link between incels and all kinds of hate. It’s horrible.
Ironically feminism gets you closer to this than anything they’ve cooked up over a very long period of time
It’s exactly why reactionaries have spent decades demonizing feminism: it keeps men defending the patriarchy that damages them too (although not as much as other people).
We need another big wave of feminism, this time learning all the mistakes from previous decades
The rising movement of questioning gender identity from and alongside the queer folk might hopefully be another nail in patriarchy’s coffin
Yep! And notice how you’ve been downvoted for saying that.
Wouldn’t know, my instance doesn’t show downvotes 😄
I remember back when no shave November was kind of a meme thing and it was used for mens health awareness. It was so wholesome and awesome! But yeah the closest we have now is that guy on YouTube who does the Dad videos.
Well.
Manchildren.
Adolescence is an incredible and immersive experience. Stephen Graham deserves to be showered with awards for this. It’s all about the micro-expressions in his performance.
The episode with Erin Doherty was amazing, the way her and Owen Cooper interacted was a roller coaster! And the fact they did the episodes as one continuous take blows my mind.
That one was disturbing. The final episode just ripped my heart out though.
That show is in my very exclusive list of “Best Things I Can Never Watch Again”.
I’m not sure it was one take. There were a few shots that looked very useful for editing purposes. Unless they were just save points which maybe didn’t get used?
They did multiple takes yes, but each episode went with the best continuous take of the bunch, which makes that particular episode kinda insane with how much Cooper was oscillating Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
Owen Cooper shines through for me, with an absolutely brilliant and nuanced performance. You expect Stephen Graham to be brilliant, but Owen should win an award for his work.
Absolutely incredible show, only watched the first episode after reading your comment but wow was that ever well done all around.
And all a single shot! I was on the edge of my seat.
I don’t have much free time to watch TV, but I’ll check it out.
I had no idea that incel was a term that people used to self-identify.
I thought it was only a slur.
When the term was first coined, it was not an insult. It was from a support group for people who had trouble finding a partner.
The ultimate irony is that the first popular incel support community was started by a woman.
Also a great demonstration of how thin the wall between support group and cult is.
Well, no. It got toxic because the people the group helped didn’t need to go to the group anymore. So the only people left were the ones too toxic to find a partner which led to even more toxic people getting involved
Damn that’s a pretty logical process to explain the decay of Internet self help groups
Yeah, if you don’t have a greater community surrounding the support one, there’s just no reason for people to stick around once their problem is solved.
“I am Jack’s self hatred directed at women.”
It became an insult as a direct consequence of the incel community being as hateful and toxic as it is. As an insult term it doesn’t actually have anything to do with not getting sex at all
Just like the n-word
Yeah, IIRC it was a reddit thing for awhile. Never really got into it myself since by the time I bumped into them they’d already gotten big into blaming women for not sleeping with them.
I identify as an incel. I don’t visit the incel web spaces though and I don’t blame women for it.
I’m an incel because I can’t afford to date. Like every week I’m barely able to get by living in poverty. Dating takes time and at least some money. If I got a little more of either, I’d have to use it to better my situation before dating.
I bring this point up because, as toxic as incel culture is, I rarely see it tied back to the shitty economy. Just people pointing fingers at each other as though the Male Loneliness phenomenon were entirely the result of people’s personalities.
You are looking at the etymology of the term “incel” and then assuming that’s the actual meaning. But it isn’t. Incel culture is not about people who are too poor to date. If it were, they’d be complaining about minimum wage in the next paragraph, right? But that is not what we see.
I see incel culture tied to sexism, selfishness, and often an willingness to try hard. Do we see it waxing and waning together with the economy? I don’t think we do, so I don’t think it’s closely connected.
Yep and a big part of it is blame shifting onto women. The running theme I find in incel subs is that they don’t actually do anything about their issues, other than maybe some appearance based work sometimes. They just wallow in blame shifting and self pity
We need a tinder for poor people, those who don’t have the economic means to date, but would have their situation bettered by joining forces with one or more like-minded and equally fin-locked partners.
We could call it Prolescroll, PlentyOfRamen, Stumble, econHarmony
Fumble
Edit: op already did stumble and I didn’t see it.thought Fumble was to similar, and tried to delete but I also forgot you can’t really delete your thing so the comment stays lol
Crumble - for people looking for a squad of survivors to roll with for when society collapses
Or… People looking for a nice pudding.
Really nice idea in principle but will certainly be exploited by richer ppl
I dont think that counts my dude. You just broke. You could probably go get laid if you really wanted to. These guys online are different.
Hell yeah, the horny dudes online don’t care how broke you are. They want dick pics and good times.
It’s a lot of things. It’s a measure of vulnerability, and of the social expectations and needs of men or women. It’s not exclusive to men, though I think the culture that surrounds it is certainly more outwardly destructive.
At its core, it’s a feeling of inadequacy, and that inadequacy is a vulnerability exploited by others who either feel similarly as a way to elevate themselves or just because they’re cruel enough to use it to benefit themselves. It can begin with poverty, with bad experiences, with neglect or abuse. It can begin in ignorance, or by being mislead. I think it’s also a lack of self awareness, a lack of self care, and often a lack of time or energy for either.
In the end, there’s not enough of the world that says it’s okay to fail and it’s okay to be vulnerable and that you can spend that time on yourself. People will always feel cheated, and there will always be experiences that leave you feeling alienated or hurt. What pains me is that too often it’s easier to find anger and resentment in those moments than it is to find the support you need to build yourself back up and feel okay again.
I bring this point up because, as toxic as incel culture is, I rarely see it tied back to the shitty economy. Just people pointing fingers at each other as though the Male Loneliness phenomenon were entirely the result of people’s personalities.
Because it is. Women aren’t magically getting rich while all the men go bankrupt. Thinking you are lonely because you are poor is a cope fantasy that is 100% due to some kind of personality flaw you are harbouring.
It isn’t just your stereotypical incel who is lonely. People aren’t lonely because they suddenly just got worse at being people.
I see a lot of good, decent guys lonely who don’t hate women, it’s just that infrastructure and third places got defunded, so you’re either at home alone or at work getting told it’s only appropriate to socialise in company-approved ways.
Add in that rape somehow got politicised (mostly because we have rapists and pedophiles holding public office), so while we do fuck all for most of the victims who get raped in domestic situations, we get women and men afraid of talking to each other and also afraid of being talked to.
And people who come out and say ‘hey I feel lonely’ get told ‘it’s your fault’.
Tbh at this point calling yourself an incel because you’re involuntary celibate is like calling yourself a homophobe because you’re scared of gay people. technically accurate, but do you really wanna go there?
Yes it’s very much about the economy which is why we should have elected the party that isn’t going to give more of your money to the rich, and isn’t blaming problems on immigrants and minorities to draw attention away from the rich having all your money.
However, and I’m not saying you’re in this category, men have free will and if any of them take the bait and start aiming their frustration and hate at women, they’re still responsible for that.
“It’s a hit job,” said one Reddit user, who goes by the username DarkMageOfTruth99.
Oh geez I snorted so hard at the username I farted
I would have went with DarkMageOfTruth69, but maybe it was already taken
Huh, I always thought Incel culture was c. diff.
I snorted at this. Good on ya.
“This portrayal of the incel lifestyle and attitude is totally inaccurate! I think and act just like that guy and i’m not an incel…”
/s
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)
I dated an incel years ago for around 18 months. Dunno if anyone’s interested in that, but just a random anecdote I have
Why? How?
It was before anyone had even heard of incels. He hid his women hating side, and I thought I could help him with his issues (spoiler: I could not). His sexual dysfunction was 😳😳😳 so I’ve no doubt he was sexually abused as a child. After we broke up he showed more of his true self like hating women and he was really petty and vindictive eg spreading really private info about me to people. From what I hear now he’s drinking heavily.
Years later I read about incels online and was like “holy shit that’s him!” Explained a lot.
Oh, the ‘I can fix him’ special. Been there, done that, good on you to leave, you are worth more than that is all I can say.
Thanks mate and right back at you
sound of bat hitting baseball
They should be more mad at The Residence using ‘The Fall of the House of Usher’ for the first episode instead of one of Poe’s actual mysteries.
It’s not a culture. Do they have their own songs and their own food and dishes? Maybe a folk lore or art?
Subculture if you will
