You kids today are soft, back in my day there was this big war & I could only use one hand because I needed the other to fight people that wanted to evacuate me.
Or that one time I had to hide in the attic & do it very quietly.
Or that time I had to do it with a super bright light in my face because there was something called “an interrogation” at the camp.
- “Grandpa, did you fight in WW3?”
- “No, they wouldn’t let me enlist because I masturbated way too much. Like an immediately disqualifying amount.”
Grandpa, do you mind? It’s hard to talk to you when you do that in front of me.
You kids today are soft, back in my day there was this big war & I could only use one hand because I needed the other to fight people that wanted to evacuate me.
Or that one time I had to hide in the attic & do it very quietly.
Or that time I had to do it with a super bright light in my face because there was something called “an interrogation” at the camp.
Now you’re just listing off my gooning kink playlist vids.
Did I tell you about the time I got stuck in the dryer?
I was again left with only one free hand!
Luckily I wasn’t home alone, your stepmom was there too.
I remember. I was watching from around the corner.
Go on…
Go on.
Go-on.
Goon.