I fucked it all up, I am alone now.

I have not felt like [name] in ages, I used to be called by it, and for a while when I heard it in the street, my head turned thinking that is me, I used to believe I was actually me.

I am not visibly trans in real life or online, today is not safe to even be trans in my little chat rooms anymore, the bare minimum of having a profile picture you like or your chosen name as an account can become dangerous once you open your phone around other people, not so long ago I felt like I am who I was, I wish that the invisibility was recognized and respected, I can not afford to expose my self. What I am getting into is that some trans people and allies seem to get the idea that anyone that is not visibly trans to them is not trans and therefore can not feel dysphoria or face transphobia. An example I saw once here was someone saying “if you are a man who cares about x you should get over it, except if you are trans”, if that person met me, talked to me in real life or on one of my accounts what would they tell me if I cared about x?

A lot of us are facing danger, with state sponsored transphobia growing all over the world, and mass online surveillance, I believe we should put it into consideration.