Hurricane in Florida. A work friend invited my mom and I to stay at her place if it got bad. I’d spent time with her and her husband before, and thought we would have a good time playing games and hanging out.

It started to get bad, so we headed over. She didn’t answer the door or phone. Finally she comes out, says we woke her up (it’s 3pm) and laughed at us getting “freaked out” by a little wind. Guess we were supposed to wait for the full hurricane force winds before driving across town. Spent the remainder of my birthday on the closet floor with mom and dog.

Your self-destruction doesn’t hurt them. Your chaos won’t convert them. They’re so happy to rebuild it. You never really killed it. Excess ain’t rebellion. You’re drinking what they’re selling.

50F is the perfect temperature.

I had the same problem with masturbation. My religion made a big deal over what a sin it was, and we had no sexual education, so literally the only thing I knew was that it meant touching your own genitals, which I did whenever I needed to scratch or adjust myself. It was panic-inducing and miserable.

My pharmacy sends a survey after every visit. Nothing ever improves.

I would far rather the spiders in my house eat these things.

Pssh, look who’s bragging about having three entire friends.

That is not accurate. Immigration right now is causing a variety of problems, including for those migrating. I recommend reading this for an explanation of the current issues and some independent ideas on how to solve them.

It only requires the app for chilled and filtered. The regular tap water is still available.

Someone alert Alex Horne

Thank you for your service.

Nothing. I should be limited to one or less.

As usual, you have to be born with certain good looks.

You’re Dead by Norma Tanega

Gone til November by Wyclef Jean

Tattoo by Loreen

Thank U by Alanis Morisette

Comfort Eagle by Cake

This post brought to you by Leslie Knope and Buddy the elf

Yeah, I use sync