GrouchyGrouse [he/him]

This is like if the Apollo 13 had waited until after they were on the dark side of the moon to admit to Houston they had a problem.

Doing sexism but with cop milsim larp style jargon.

New frontier of hell unlocked

The kangaroo with the Australia shaped head is the funniest fucking thing to me I’m losing it here

The added pregnancy fetish is just Garrison being Garrison. That awful head is inspired. it’s like somebody tried to draw the Grinch Who Stole Christmas on a Dino-Nugget.

The real value of the crypto was whatever the day he lost it. They need to stop calling it whatever horseshit number the market has for that same crypto. Because this specific crypto is gone. Forever. It has no value. It can never accrue more value. Stop acting like it’s real. Stop acting like it’s value has been subject to market forces over the years. It’s been gone. The invisible hand can’t touch it if it’s gone.

So if you’re gonna say this chump lost his wallet say what the value was when he lost it. So whatever the price was back then. Guarantee it’s not 3/4 of a billion fucking dollars.

If only that Tesla had erupted into a towering inferno and taken both of them.

Then they could have died thinking they were still in love, like 2 serial cheaters clutching each other in the back row of United 93 swearing eternal loyalty to their relationship as the Pentagon becomes visible on the horizon.

They were robbed of their Romeo & Juliet ending.

The purpose of a system is what it does which is why the crowning item coming off this current production line is: 2 jabbering nincompoops with too much power and no control.

So… they’ll probably not even reconcile it. They’ll just say “this isn’t who we are” and then deploy a magic umbrella and sail away into the clouds.

The myth of the “good billionaire” should die and the people who profit off spreading that nonsense should get eyelid blisters for the crime.

We live in a Birdciety

Yeah the “we can techwizard our way out of climate catastrophe while gorging all the treats and living long lives and there some of us think there can be a billion of us and speaking of billions we need more billionaires that are real industry leaders” people aren’t telling themselves a fucking story give me a fuckin break.

Hey kid your post-a-rini is top shelf. How’s about you join this thing of ours.

Fucking A. I hate these types so much. “Well gosh it sure is awkward being rich around so much poverty and poverty-driven angst.”

I like the banner that just says “LIQUOR”

This was where he stopped

Oh my fucking god

It would also finally generate demand for human beings

We still have that! We never lost that! People still want kids! And they want them because they want kids not some lofty interstellar jerk off session.

It would also finally generate demand for human beings

Author telling on themselves here. Just because nobody wants to be around them and their shitty idea doesn’t mean society is collapsing.

It would also finally generate demand for human beings

Just Jesus fucking christ what a stupid fucking thing to think up let alone share

generate demand for human beings

Fucking go call your mother and just apologize. You don’t have to explain why. But we both know it’s the right course of action.

I tried using dark magic to get the ghost of big structural Bailey to haunt Schumer’s Baileys but just in a passive stares-at-you kinda way. Like the dog from the Omen.

I dunno if it worked.

Nice of them to make it official

No don’t ruin sicko it’s a beautiful word

Trump really fucked up one thing America had going for it: yeah its a pit of snakes with nuclear arms but its a reliable pit.

Now that he’s playing hot potato with the wheel and careening all over we lost the reliability.

Now we’re just a hole in the ground full of assholes. Duplicitous shady side talking assholes. Whoops.

Climbing a 20ft security fence and scaling a concrete dry moat in order to get mauled by the zoo’s tigers, thus proving how much smarter I am than the tigers.

Some rich failson was going around Seattle revving and being a fuckwit and the cops kept ticketing him when he couldn’t evade them and it did nothing because he was a rich boy.

People were unironically making plans to kill that motherfucker. Even the kind of people that weren’t joking and were the type of person to mag dump a car.

So SPD finally got off their asses and arrested the nuisance because John Q Public was going to go apeshit on his ass and they were coordinating across social media to track the fucker down.