Don’t tell America…

…there’s oil in America.

“What?! They have oil? And brown people?!? GET 'EM!”

LAPD raids an “illegal grow-op.”

“The Dip. Good choice.”

I am aware of the teaches of Peaches

My favorite passage: “…”

The 1812 Overture to braille

Who tapes an outlet? You just pull the cover.

So, Russia is getting aid from China, Iran, North Korea, and now Nerf? WWIII confirmed.

Elon Musk did not pay anyone.

Geneva Suggestions

Gimme da cash!

I was thinking Cheech and Chong:

“Hardhat to base.”

“Hey, go ahead, officer Lardass.”

“No, it’s hardhat. Hard. Hat.”

“Copy that, officer Lardass.”

Skibirillion?

“The Good Lord said he could heal this boy for just FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!1!”

“What is a… what the- what the fuck was THAT?! That shit is whack.”

“Try the all new Lite Maga! All the bigotry and hatred you’ve come to expect, with half the calories!”

“Oh Lord, they didn’t bring a sacrifice chile.”

Cheapskates at Warner only wanted to pay for one ‘meep.’

Saw that but then saw the original is old enough to vote, so i had to go old skool.

“We seek The One Ring!”

“No thanks, we already have one!”