I was going to say, I can’t comment on if you should or shouldn’t have cut those people off, but having no friends is a very rough place to be. I’d strongly encourage you to seek out new friends.

Sometimes people reveal they suck and it’s better in the long run.

I don’t know that our situations are exactly the same, but a little over a year ago, I very plainly and publicly ‘broke up’ with my group of friends for 15+ years. Some of them were people I actively disliked, others passively started to annoy me over time, others I liked very much or didn’t really do anything to deserve my ire.

I had various bouts of intense loneliness like you may be experiencing now. Thoughts of reconnecting. Regretting the decision in the first place. I always thought back to why I left in the first place and who I felt like I was around them. I liked that person a lot less.

Since leaving them, I’ve started to learn another language, I have a visibly stronger body from starting to exercise regularly, have eaten healthier, read more books, watched many films. Been more productive at work. I’ve gone to many large events alone, but I have also socialized with people in my local area more by going to specific events and volunteering. I am overall a better person. Some medication also contributed.

It wasn’t their fault I couldn’t do these things before. I needed the space and mental energy to set myself to these tasks instead of spending unfulfilling nights playing video games with them or feeling compelled to participate in their conversations. They may not be happy, but they are at least satisfied with their choices. I was not. I felt stagnant.

Only now have I started to very slowly speak to some of them again. I have been re-introducing some activities with them but have been very careful to not ‘join the group’ in a sense and get caught up on doing nothing but spending time with them and resenting it. I will not join their group chats or install apps they regularly use to communicate. So far it is working.

My point in saying all this is that you may not need to be alone permanently. You may just need a break. You may also be able to satisfy your desire for social contact in other ways with your newly found time. You may also be able to occupy your mind with more healthy habits instead. Or both. It may take time to figure out how you can use that time and energy to feel better though. You may even begin to enjoy the loneliness.