Because I’m always told that I have it all wrong 🤪
Apparently the neurotypical (who has been in relationship on and off with very few gaps their entire life) isn’t making this a priority because they don’t want to be alone. They’re also not doing it because it makes life easier AND they’re not doing it because they simply want it for themselves. The main point is that I’ll never “get it.”
Maybe this is a lesson learned that I should force myself to be in the next relationship if the opportunity ever comes around again, even if my partner can’t meet my needs. Perhaps it’s better to be lonely with someone than with no one at all idk
Lol I found if someone says “you just don’t get it” then they just didnt think about it themselves to put it into words or don’t want to say it out loud.
Anywho here is my take:
A relationship is mutual arrangement to benefit both parties. You both need to get something out of it and what ever those “things” are needs to balanced. It doesnt need to be the same thing or one thing but what is being provided needs to be equal or more value in each other’s eyes.
Example: I do all cooking and cleaning in my home but my SO does many advance things for me i cant do. Some ppl dont like that arrangement and that’s fine. I enjoy doing those chores while my SO hates them. it’s not 1 size fit all.
Example 2: I have almost crippling high sex drive while SO has non existent one. This stresses our relationship but my SO is my best friend who I trust with everything. THAT has more value to me then sexual needs.
If being with another person is not providing more benefits than stress than its not worth it. Like ppl getting abused because too afraid of being alone or trying to stick it out for kids. In my mind thats madness but in their mind they are lieing to themselves and/or think there is still a mutual benefit or things will get better.
Bring alone with terrible or incompatible person is way worse than being alone but humans as social creatures fear that loneliness and it skews decision making. Don’t force something if you are happy as is but you should take chances and see where things go if an opportunity occurs. Things could go bad yes but it could also end great.