https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/mar/25/army-max-enlistment-marijuana-restrictions
After missing its recruitment target by 25% in 2022, the US army has changed its approach to attracting more people into the forces, including targeting more gen Z applicants.
However, the average age of recruits has been increasing, with analysts at the Rand Corp in 2023 recommending an increase in the maximum enlisted age as older recruits are “of higher quality, more focused, and more motivated, as well as being ready to ship to basic training more quickly”.
Cool, gonna pre-emptively apply and get drug tested coked up just to get blacklisted early
Gets admitted
😮
Just act really confused at the firing range and when the drill sergeant comes over to yell at you, just unload into him at close range
I hear killing your CO in the US gets you into the special heaven, the one with John Brown and the heroin clouds.
It doesn’t get you out of any armed services, unless your CO doesn’t like you, from what I’m hearing.
Yeah they put me in something called “The Marines”, so maybe I’ll get to hang out at the beach?
I think thats the worst one because you do homoerotic stuff all day but aren’t allowed to kiss at night.
Shit, what about handholding?