[ This is women-only community. If you do not identify as a woman, please do not comment. Thank you. ]

It absolutely upsets me is that when I bring up women’s issues, I often get met with “Men experience that, too!”, and that takes away from the attention an issue needs.

This is not me playing to win the “victim olympics”, I’m just saying that men really need to listen and realize how exactly women are being treated in these scenarios and why they feel it needs to be brought to attention.

Example: medical discrimination / not having your health being taken seriously as a woman. Do men experience it? Sure! But men absolutely DO NOT experience this in the same way/volume that women do.

Did you know that many clinics will not allow you to get a hysterectomy or your tubed tied without the permission of your spouse? If you are single, they may refuse altogether because “what if your partner wants kids someday?” A HYPOTHETICAL MAN HAS MORE POWER OVER YOUR BODY THAN YOU DO!!!

Pain being dismissed as “hysterics”. Being constantly told that any medical symptoms you are experiencing are a result of “”“anxiety”“”. Dismissive of painful menstruation and/or pregnancy, because “woman have been doing this for thousands of years!” Refusing autism diagnosis because “it’s not typically a girl thing”… I could go on.

This is not limited to experiences within the medical field. It’s… loooots of things.

Like, fuck… it’s okay to not understand the experience of others. It’s like when I hear folks say “Everyone is a little bit OCD! Everyone experiences that sometimes!” like… no??? Absolutely fucking not, you have no idea what OCD is like, and you’re being an insensitive idiot by saying “eVeRyOnEs A lITtLe BiT—” NO THEY’RE FUCKING NOT!

Men face their own issues. Sometimes men’s & women’s issues overlap. Sometimes there’s a little overlap, but women face a much greater degree of fuckery over the issue than men do, and vice versa. That’s okay. Just don’t invalidate that it may be a larger issue for women than it may be for men.

That’s all.

  • Nougat@fedia.io
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    1 month ago

    My experience was worse than yours. I didn’t mention it before, because anecdotes are not data. I’m not suggesting that women (on this issue) don’t have more negative experiences than men, statistically, on the whole. I’m not suggesting anything about “who has it worse.” Nobody should receive that kind of roadblock to an elective surgery of their personal choice.

    Saying “But men …,” or saying “This is a women’s issue - and by extension, not a men’s issue,” are both dividing a group of people with the exact same interest into opposing groups, who arguably appear more motivated to fight against each other instead of fight for each other.

      • voracitude@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        I’m going to block you and your community personally, because if there’s one thing I hate more than the patriarchy it’s gatekeepers. You make your own world smaller and our movement less effective by attacking our own like this.

      • Nougat@fedia.io
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        1 month ago

        There it is.

        Segregation doesn’t help anyone; neither the ones being segregated away, nor the ones doing the segregating. It is always wrong.