For anyone legitimately confused, there’s potentially two different things going on here:
There is a very small chance that she is now more attracted to him, since he’s been “screened” by someone else as an acceptable boyfriend.
What’s infinitely more likely is that now she’s more comfortable interacting with him because she feels he’s not as likely to take friendly interaction as anything more, now that he has a girlfriend.
You set your status on a dating app to In a Relationship instead of deactivating it. You got likes after that because you’re now passing search filters for a different demographic: nonmonogamous people
It recontextualizes things a bit - this is not purely a function of vetting, but places him in a different (smaller) category than he was in previously on the app.
that would arguably be the reason i made this comment, depending on how you read the room. But ultimately, it is a negative social behavior to engage in.
There is definitely some truth here to this being a “group behavior” but in this case, it was one other person, there are three people here total, you are literally just showing up to the hunting party after the fact to grub some free food at that point. Hence my part about “dont this it this blatantly” to elaborate on what i mean here, the social aspect i’m referring to would be a community, people you’ve known and that people you know have known for many years. It’s why when somebody new shows up, everybody is cautious about the new person. And slowly warms up to them. If you instantly warm up to someone, there is either something funny going on, or you’re a very specific type of person, which may be advantageous, but in this case, probably isnt.
you’re either putting yourself in a position where you look like a bad person, or a really opportunistic person, and neither of those are good. It’s just bad vibes.
Or, like so many, he’s interpreting it as teasing when its not.
My wife still browses reddit. A recent BORU was a young guy who was convinced his brother’s gf wanted to bang him. Everyone told him it was in his head, he went for it anyway…
Now his brother and gf left the family home to get a hotel, and this dumb ass - who only now saw how wrong he was - is left explaining why to the family.
Could be made up, of course. But its incredibly plausible. Lots of guys are dumb AF and either can’t pick up on any signals, or interpret everything as a signal.
So I’d personally lean towards the incredibly more likely scenario of her being friendly, and him misinterpreting it.
For anyone legitimately confused, there’s potentially two different things going on here:
There is a very small chance that she is now more attracted to him, since he’s been “screened” by someone else as an acceptable boyfriend.
What’s infinitely more likely is that now she’s more comfortable interacting with him because she feels he’s not as likely to take friendly interaction as anything more, now that he has a girlfriend.
I was on a dating site many years ago. Never got messaged, rarely got responses.
Met someone in real life, set my profile to “in a relationship”. Got like 5 messages within a week.
Definitely a bit of vetting going on
You set your status on a dating app to In a Relationship instead of deactivating it. You got likes after that because you’re now passing search filters for a different demographic: nonmonogamous people
It’s weird how you’re getting more upvotes than he did when all you did was summarize what he already said in a tone like it was new information.
It recontextualizes things a bit - this is not purely a function of vetting, but places him in a different (smaller) category than he was in previously on the app.
Tomato tamato. You end up in the same place and the journey looks the same.
literal parasite behavior, never do this.
Or if you do don’t do it as directly as this lmao.
Isn’t this instinct? People usually only notice such things after they’re pointed out.
that would arguably be the reason i made this comment, depending on how you read the room. But ultimately, it is a negative social behavior to engage in.
There is definitely some truth here to this being a “group behavior” but in this case, it was one other person, there are three people here total, you are literally just showing up to the hunting party after the fact to grub some free food at that point. Hence my part about “dont this it this blatantly” to elaborate on what i mean here, the social aspect i’m referring to would be a community, people you’ve known and that people you know have known for many years. It’s why when somebody new shows up, everybody is cautious about the new person. And slowly warms up to them. If you instantly warm up to someone, there is either something funny going on, or you’re a very specific type of person, which may be advantageous, but in this case, probably isnt.
you’re either putting yourself in a position where you look like a bad person, or a really opportunistic person, and neither of those are good. It’s just bad vibes.
Sure, yes, it is “bad behavior” and might have respective repercussions.
“teasing me every chance she gets” sounds like there is more. On whose side is open for discussion.
Or, like so many, he’s interpreting it as teasing when its not.
My wife still browses reddit. A recent BORU was a young guy who was convinced his brother’s gf wanted to bang him. Everyone told him it was in his head, he went for it anyway…
Now his brother and gf left the family home to get a hotel, and this dumb ass - who only now saw how wrong he was - is left explaining why to the family.
Could be made up, of course. But its incredibly plausible. Lots of guys are dumb AF and either can’t pick up on any signals, or interpret everything as a signal.
So I’d personally lean towards the incredibly more likely scenario of her being friendly, and him misinterpreting it.
Don’t forget that not every woman is the same. Actions that are signals for one woman aren’t signals for another
Also true.
Either way its safe to assume not interested then, not interested now.
Here’s a handy guide to tell, is she into you.